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Thank you for sharing your first ryona fic with us and welcome to Ryonani!The first thing I have to mention is that you have to go easy on the ellipsis. I know it's tempting to use "..." to create some kind of effect (not sure what exactly), but it makes your story difficult to read.On to the positive. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this in regards to other fics posted here, but I like when a writer gets to the point and you do that well. Not a lot of background, just straight to the ryona. I also like how you elaborated on the image that inspired you as opposed to just describing it. Good stuff. I think you have a simple, but effective style and you include cool details when you write about what Rena is going through.Keep it up!
Thank you for sharing your first ryona fic with us and welcome to Ryonani!
The first thing I have to mention is that you have to go easy on the ellipsis. I know it's tempting to use "..." to create some kind of effect (not sure what exactly), but it makes your story difficult to read.
On to the positive. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned this in regards to other fics posted here, but I like when a writer gets to the point and you do that well. Not a lot of background, just straight to the ryona. I also like how you elaborated on the image that inspired you as opposed to just describing it. Good stuff. I think you have a simple, but effective style and you include cool details when you write about what Rena is going through.
Keep it up!
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