Some Guy From Sadisto. I'd post the epub, but rakuten kobo doesn't allow you to save files:
"“YOU WANT ME,” I said, still not believing the request, “to tell you how I met your grandmother?” The kids nodded their heads, rapidly, all smiles, and enthusiasm. I knew if I gave them their request, those smiles wouldn’t last. I'd be lucky if they ever again spoke to me.
...
“Fine. So, your mom and I met when I was a spy-slash- government assassin, and she was a hooker hired to entertain me, sexually.” Everyone laughed, and stopped when I didn't. Slowly the smiles all dripped away like show off a wood-burning stove, all except for Pyotr’s. He was always a little slower on the uptake, God love him.
...
“And you should start back a little further, dear,” my wife said. “To when you killed Madame Phu in Singapodia.”
...
CHAPTER 1 “SHE WAS SHOT,” I began, “as she stepped from her shower,” the news stories would say the following day. No mention, though, of the fact that she’d been humming an old Singapodian folk song, a song of seduction, when she stepped daintily and drippingly from behind those glass doors, still wearing her silver strap high heels... No mention of the fact that she’d smiled at me, sexily, while humming, as the water slipped down her lovely, golden body, or that she’d purred to me, with just a trace of Asian-French fusion accent, ‘‘I really shouldn't be granting you an exclusive interview while I am nude in my boudoir, Meestair Hawke, but you Ameri-can journalists are so... persuasive.”
“We are,” I admitted. That’s what I'd told her; that I was a newspaperman. And of course, |’d had the forged credentials to verify my story. But I didn't have to be persuasive. She’d eyed me like a piece of tlavortul seasoned meat the moment she'd laid eyes on me at her inauguration party, had stepped fluidly and unbidden out of her sheer evening gown the moment we were alone. Being a fairly young man, |’d become instantly erect. Something she’d appreciated with a lingering glance of her golden eyes, and warming grin. She'd invited me to join her in the shower as she stepped in still wearing those silver heels, but the last thing I wanted was damp gunpowder. She took my refusal as nervous American prudishness, and left the doors open as continued invitation while she soaped and sponged the smoothness of her lean body—her long legs, sculpted ass, small, but firm breasts, smiling and eyeing me with her half-lidded, lit-from-within, golden flecked eyes the entire time.
“Yeah, we don't need all the sexual detail, pops,” Jelena said. “Sssh!” Pyotr hissed, and smiled. ‘‘I think we do!”
l confinued. “And now, Meestair Hawke,” she’d purred, stepping toward me, ignoring the nearby towel, stroking an erect nipple with one, dainty finger, while raking the fingertips of her other hand through her glistening netherhair, “l invite you tojoin me in my bed, only thees time I weel not take ‘no’ for an answer, as I show you how persuasive we French-accented, Singapodian Comm-oo-nists can be...”
She'd begun to walk slowly toward me, strikingly, purposefully, seductively, nakedly, high-heel-edly...
I shuddered. Once again, I was going to have to bed a foreign seductress. How would my future wife feel about my seemingly endless, amorous misadventures? Would she ever truly understand that frequent illicit sex was something I was required to do for the sake of The Free World? No. It was hard to imagine.
Madame Phu reached for my fly, and I cursed my young man's libido, and above-average girth. There was no hiding my fully aroused sexual interest, and she purred sounds of Singapodian delight as she fondled its thickening length through thin fabric, slowly lowering the zipper that would allow it to spring forth like the happy puppy it was, knowing she would pet, scratch, and stroke it affectionately. At least until she killed it... and me.
“Come,” she said once I was a freed man, not meaning it the way you’re thinking—not yet, anyway—taking hold of it like a handle, and pulling me toward her luxurious, opulent bed. “Satisfy me, and l weel speak of all my many Comm-oo- nist secrets.”
Well, I thought. That’s what |’m here for.
She reached the edge of the bed, turned back to face me with a smile, still tightly gripping the solidity of my shaft. She sat her shower—moist, bare ass back on the bed, and in a very unladylike way, spread her legs. She continued to pull me— forward and, down—until I was forced to put away my notebook, and place my hands to either side of her so I could brace myself on the bed and avoid falling over. She teased the head of my cock just inside her very wet folds, moving it up and down firmly, but gently. It was a fabulous sensation, and her expression showed that she had been expecting my positive response.
“Moof forward, jost a Ieetle,” she said, quietly. I did, and my smaller head was enfolded within snug layers of softness and warmth. She cooed, and mmmm’d, released me, leaning back on her elbows, staring at my face with appreciative intensity. “The look on a mans face when he first feels me around him,” she whispered, “is my favorite moment of the love- making.” “And this is my favorite,” I said, shoving fully into her moist grip, watching her eyes widen in surprise, and erotic upheaval. She reached out and grabbed my shoulders, her face flush with ardor, her lips parted in a shocked ‘O’ of ecstasy, her wide eyes gazing deeply into mine. “Oh, yes,” she said, “Oh, absolutely, yes.”
Her hot, pliant lips attacked mine, our tongues leaping— one into the other’s mouths. She lay back on the bed as I continued to move—slow|y now—in and out, the intensity of our kisses growing.
I broke my lips from the suction of hers, and asked, “What Communist secrets did you wish to reveal, my beautiful Madame Phu?”
But instead of answering, she pulled a Type 56 Chinese assault rifle from under her pillow, and placed its barrel against my head. ‘‘I don’t know, Trevor Hawke, SADISTO agent 8,” she snarled. “What secrets did you wish to reveal to me?”
She laughed, then, at my change of expression, and I admit to being a little surprised, though not enough to stop moving in and out of her. She had known all along! Known that I was an agent of Security Administration Division of the Institute for Special Tactical Operations, or SADISTO for short! I had thought my cover foolproof. I was wearing false glasses! They always worked for Clark Kent! But apparently, I’d become a better- known agent than I realized.
Gathering myself, I began to withdraw, but Madame Phu reached around, clasped my ass, and yanked. I can't tell you how often that happens. Just when I think |’m out, they pull me back in.
She tapped my forehead with the 56. “Finish first,” she insisted. Staring at the gun in her hand, I slowly resumed moving my hips, and saw her will to fight getting lost in the sensation, expressions of deep pleasure inadvertently fading on and off her beautiful Communist features. Then she reached down with her free hand, and began stimulating herself in rhythm with my movement, and for a brief instant, her eyes closed. In that instant I pulled my own weapon—not that one, the gun—and aimed it at her head.
She looked mildly surprised, but kept stimulating, as I continued thrusting. “Really does not change anything, does it,” Phu said. “No, I suppose not,” I agreed. “|t doz make zis. .. somewhat. . she said, .. sexier.”
“Somewhat,” I admitted, still moving in and out of her. Suddenly she gripped me with her thighs, twisted, shoved, and in an instant, I was on my back, her on top, gun barrels still at one another’s heads. Now I was immobilized, and she was moving on me.
“Still doesn’t change much,” I said. “But now I can move in way that please me,” she said, and laughed. “What’s so funny?” I asked. “You want to keel me,” she said, a little out of breath. “and yet you stare at ze bubbling of my breasts.” “Bobbling,” I corrected. “English is strange language,” she said, hips still grinding. “Whatever. You move happily inside my puss-puss. Stare at movements of my naked tit-tits. Soon the distractions will become too much and I will disarm you.”
I cursed inwardly. She was probably right. My inability to control my innate male weakness for visual stimuli was going to get me killed. Probably as I came. Which might not be a bad way to go. But I didn’t want to cum and go. Not yet.
I assessed the situation. We were focused on one another. Both armed. Both moving rhythmically. Both had one free hand. Hers on my chest for balance as she moved with pressure against my abdomen to continue stimulating her clit. My free hand was doing nothing, and I needed to put it to better use. I licked my fingers, and quickly pinched her right nipple. Twisting, kneading, pulling, massaging, after a moment I gripped the entire breast tightly, and squeezed. I saw her eyes roll up, that I'd regained my opportunity. Twist, pull, thrust, and in less than a moment we had rolled to the floor with me on top once again.
Guns still at each other’s heads. Phu again laughed in my face. “Still you fuck in and out of me,” she said. “But faster. Mmm. Better. You love the danger, and my puss-puss—mmm —and it will keel you.”
She twisted, rolled, jerked, and swung, and once again she was on top, her gun at my temple, my gun at hers. She ground her hips faster, and harder.
“Same way you love my cock,” I said, laughing at her, and driving said instrument deeper with each vigorous thrust, while she stared deeply into my eyes, moaning, deliciously, “and... how I use it. It... will be the death of you, Madame Phu, and I will enjoy watching you enjoy it to the very end.”
“'s good cock,” she admitted, momentarily serious. “Nnnnh... I geev you zis.” She ground her hips much faster along with my thrusts. “Eet fuck puss-puss good. So good. But is cock of freedom. I could nevair love cock of freedom. Like very much, but nevair Iove.”
She twisted, and spun, and flopped, but I adjusted so we landed again on her back, with me on top. I was momentarily distracted by the wild bouncing of her tits, she saw her advantage, twisted, spun and flopped again, and regained the upper hand. As she sat atop me, hips now driving madly, she gave an extra bounce to those tumescent titties.
“| tol you... zees boobies... would be zee end of you,” she laughed, gasped for breath, and ground—ground, gasped, and laughed—her expression and flushed color showing she was nearing climax. Though still laughing.
“Soon I weel cum,” she said, and pressed the machine gun barrel more firmly against my temple, “and you weel go.” I pounded my hips into hers, harder, and faster, until she was bouncing up in the air with each thrust.
“Yes, agent Hawke! Yes!” she screamed. “Fuck me! Fuck my puss-puss harder with your Freedom loving American cock! Fill my cunt with your Conservative American idealistic sperm!”
As she reached new heights in so many ways I shoved her upward with one last drive, her eyes closing, her face flooded red with intense passion, and yanked myself free. As she launched into the air I rolled to one side, and aimed, firing at her as I stumbled backwards, stupidly tangling up in my own drawers. She rolled away from me, discharging her 56 without aiming, bullets ripping through her bed canopy, and ceiling, dislodging the chandelier. I shuffled my snarled feet insanely, my butt barely escaping the falling fixture’s blast radius of glass shards, cable, sparks and wire as it exploded on the floor behind me. I shuffled, fired, shuffled, fired.
“Damn you, Hawke!” she yelled. “I was close! Typical American tactic! Always pulling out before zee job is done!” Rising up from behind her bed, Madame Phu took more careful aim just as I tumbled to cover behind a sofa. Bullets shredded fabric, wood, stuffing, loose change caught between seat cushions—everything blasting apart, splintered shrapnel flying everywhere, into everything... including by butt.
“AAH!” I said, in a very un-agent-like way. “HA!” She laughed. “I hope that got you in your smug, ‘pulls out too-soon’ Freedom Loving, American Ass!” I shucked the pants off my ankles, tossed them aside, ignored the splinters, and dropped to the floor to look under what remained of the sofa.
On the other side of the room I could see Madame Phu’s similarly naked butt crouching near the bed. I took careful aim, and watched her left cheek indent, and wobble furiously, creating a feminine scream almost identical in tone and pitch to mine. Abruptly the naked lower body disappeared as she—what?
“You will never stop our evil, Manchurian plot, Agent 8!” she cried, triumphantly. “You will die having never even discovered its existence! I leave you as dissatisfied as you leave me!”
I poked my head up to see her charging across the room, firing too much in my direction to feel good about. I rolled aside, aimed, fired, and saw a look of surprise spread across her face, the 56 falling from her loosening fingertips as she toppled forward onto the lush, luxuriant lime-green shag carpet before me.
She rolled onto her back, and looked up at me in shock. Slowly she began to laugh, choking it off in a bloody gurgle, red rivulets flowing from the corners of her mouth.
“Kiss me,” she said, her voice soft, and feminine, more bubbling red fluid flowing from between her lips, “before... I die.”
“Ew,” I said, grimacing. “I’d really rather not.”
“Zen... just... hold me...”
“Mmm...” I said, scowling and shaking my head.
‘‘I get no... satisfaction... even... in... ze end...”
Dead.
As she said: before I could learn what her evil, Manchurian plot was. But she was wrong in that I had ‘discovered’ its existence.
I stood to stare down at her magnificent, naked body for a brief, sad, reflective moment, then sighed with relief, wallowing in the glorious sensation that l’d survived. Survived, and won. Somehow, weirdly, still erect. Or maybe not so weirdly. That's more a question for psychiatrists.
...
Maybe I did need to retire. The years were taking their toll. Too many missions, too many bad memories, too much meaningless sex, and now I was making mistakes. Most agents didn’t live to be as old as me. I was practically a seasoned veteran within our organization. In my early years I would have fucked Madame Phu willingly, murdered her heartlessly, and escaped un-discover... ed... ly.
....
With nothing else on my mind—not The Genera|’s inevitable anger, not Méi Nfi pleading with her father to let me stay, not my bullshit reasons for not retiring—| fell immediately asleep.
...
As always, she was incredibly beautiful, her honey-gold hair tumbling in lustrous waves over her shoulders, her eyes like glowing blue jewels, her body lush and youthful and entirely feminine.
And—as always—she was completely nude beneath a white silk robe that was so sheer it was barely more than a thought
She took another step toward me, her breasts swaying with the movement, her ripe, luscious lips parting in a smile. “Darling,” I heard her whisper, “my darling, does it really matter so much?”
‘‘It matters,” I heard myself snarl.
“But darling,” she murmured, her hands sliding over the partially open front of her misty robe, untying, loosening, “darling,” she repeated, more lustily, “this is our wedding night —the night I make you a present of—this...”
She parted the white silk, and let the robe drift away from her magnificent body. Completely naked now other than fur covered heels, she stood smiling at me confidently, proud of her full, heavy breasts, proud of the breathtaking narrowness of waist, proud of the flaring womanly curve of her hips, ass, and legs.
She was so lovely it hurt; her body so beautiful—its movements so fluid—it was like a living flame of purest desire. So lovely, so beautiful, so...
... treacherous.
“My body is all yours, Trevor darling,” she whispered, fingers finding the tips of her inflating nipple. “Yours to touch, to caress, to kiss...”
As always, sweat poured down my face, and exuded from the palms of my hands. As always, my hands were trembling so I had to use both of them to steady the .45 Colt automatic I had pointed at her middle, pointed at a spot just below the dimpled delight of her navel.
“Darling,” she crooned, taking another step toward me, out of a Singapodian, glass shower, fur lined high heels clicking on the tile, “darling, you aren’t really going to shoot your love, your desire, your bride... in the stomach—just because I let slip the fact that I'm a dedicated agent of the Communist conspiracy?”
As always, I felt my entire body clench with those words; tighten in on itself with searing pain.
“What about our dream?” she asked. “Our dream of a home in Upper Westchester... the groomed lawns, the perfect yard, the three-point-two children. .
And—as always—my answer was to squeeze the trigger... The gun bellowed deafeningly and the heavy slug smashed into her with the force of a giant’s fist.
She doubled up, reeling backward to crumple to the bathroom floor in a naked, tangled heap of limbs and hair—b|ood spurting from the round, raw hole in her middle.
“How—how could you?” she gasped.
I snarled. “I just aimed and pulled the trigger.”
“I—I’m dying...” she moaned.
“Good!” I laughed.
“Dying in agony...”
“Even better!” I snarled.
“Won’t you—won’t you kiss me goodbye?” she asked weakly.
“N0!”
“Hold me then... as I die...”
“Never,” I snarled—and, after spitting in her lovely face, I turned and walked away...
...
I hated and feared it—The Dream. The dream that was not entirely a dream but mostly a suppressed memory I couldn't shake. The details changed, but the core of it remained the same.
I’d talked to the doctors about it the last time l’d had my compulsory checkup. The psychiatrist had been very polite, very kind, very useless.
“I take it,” he’d said at last, after |’d told him about the Dream, ‘‘I take it that this dream has a basis in reality—that you did, in fact, shoot your bride in the stomach on your wedding night?” ‘
‘I did,” |’d admitted. “What else could I do? She was a dedicated agent of the Communist conspiracy, and l’d found her...
He waited. I waited.
“Yes?” The psychiatrist had asked. “You mean there's more to the story than what’s in the dream?”
“Much more,” l’d said.
....
l spun my head around. The airline hostess had lowered herself into the seat next to me, and was fastening her seat belt. Suspicious? Possibly. She had to sit somewhere if the plane hit turbulence—l knew that—but why had she chosen the vacant seat next to me? There were other vacant seats on the plane.
“Wasn’t what dreadful?” I asked my natural spy caution bordering on paranoia barely held in check.
“That political assassination in Singapodia,” said the hostess, nodding at the paper on my lap. “Funny,” she went on, “how many women—good-looking women—are big shots in Far Eastern politics these days, considering how downtrodden most women in those countries are. Almost as if they're acting out some kind of bizarre, male sex fantasy for men who dream of bedding powerful, exotic women as a way of showing that they still have the power over them. Madame Chiang Kai-Shek, Madame Nu, Nehru’s daughter, Milton Caniff’s The Dragon Lady—and what's her name—that lady Prime Minister in Cey|on—Bandersnatch or something—and of course. .. Madame_Phu.”
“The late Madame Phu,” l corrected.
“Right,” she said, so sadly. “So sad. Who do you suppose killed her?”
“What makes you think I’d know anything about it?” I asked, keeping my voice casual.
“No reason. You seem nice, so I was just making conversation.”
...
“Poor Madame Phu,” sighed the airline hostess. “Why would anyone be so evil as to shoot a poor woman in her own shower?”
“To serve as a warning to other Communists, I suppose,” I said, searching her eyes for a subtextual response. A giveaway. A tell.
...
“And Singapodia was tough,” The General said. “The important thing is that you succeeded in permanently neutralizing Madame Phu. Did she die hard?”
I nodded. “Real hard.” I neglected to mention that I had also been hard. “She wanted to be held as she died, and I refused.”
...
“Do you not sleep with women when we ask you to?” he demanded. “And pay you to do it? Madame Phu being only the most recent example?”
“Well, that’s different,” I said, looking at the ceiling. The floor. Anywhere but the General’s wrinkled stiffy. “
Is it?” he asked. “Is it really? So, when you slept with the head of the Sockson Corporation before throwing her out a window...”
“There was no throwing,” I said, defiantly. “And I didn't sleep with her, we were both awake at the time. I was ramming her from behind against the plate glass of her office when she tried to kill me with a sword, so I ducked, and thrust at the same time. The glass shattered, and... well... there was no sleeping.” “I read the report,” he admonished.
“So, you didn't ‘sleep’, but you fucked her. To death, basically. As you fucked her on that circus trapeze to gain vital, Free World information. As you also fucked her on the roof of her corporate headquarters while you both dangled from a helicopter simultaneously trying to get hold of that decrypted Translation of the Voynich Diaries. For which you were paid.”
...
“Not a soul, 8,” Hans grumbled. “You and your cadet-in- training kin go right on in. Heh, heh, heh! Nice titties. Kin I touch?”
He wiggled his fingers toward Juliet, and she stepped back.
“No,” Juliet said, then looked nervously at me. “He can’t, can he?”
“Not if you don’t want him to,” I said. ‘‘It wouldn’t be considered part of your training.”
“Then I don’t want him to,” she said, defiantly at him.
“Yer loss,” he said, chuckled again, then went back to his racing sheet. “|’ll get ‘em later, though.”
“What an obnoxious old man,” Juliet whispered as we walked toward the door that led to the course. “What did he mean by that?”
“He means if you get killed,” I explained, “he’ll have access to your body. Or whatever parts are left intact. He's already decided which ones he wants, apparently.”
“Don’t let him! Please, Trevor! If all that’s left of me is a nipple, I don't want that creepy old fuck anywhere near it!”
...
Anatomically, she was a dream. I looked back with bliss to the time we'd spent fucking each other, and eagerly looked forward to fucking her in the future. Many times, in many different ways. Nevertheless. Nevertheless, once she got out onto the Obstacle Course, I ceased to think of her as a bed-friend-slash-potentiaI wife-mate and mother of three point two or more of my children. She became instead: A Target; a target I was required as a Mentor Agent to riddle with expanding machine gun bullets if at all possible; a target it was my obligation to explode into red and white fragments of the former ex-cadet agent Juliet Jones as unacceptable for the ranks of SADISTO.
...
I swiveled the machine gun, waited until I figured she was about where I was aiming, let fly. Hot damn! I’d come close to grazing her butt again that time! The tracers really lit it up. Such a pretty bottom, she had. I would miss that butt.
I heard a faint, dismal wall from out of the darkness. I chuckled to myself. Oh, yes, she felt the wind of them.
...
On the way out of the Obstacle Course the caretaker took one look at Juliet—still whole, head attached—and groaned in disappointment.
“Poor old ghoul,” Juliet said as I led the way into the elevator, “he really had his heart set on a head from Wes... consin. Sorry to disappoint you, you grisly fuck!”
“Don’t,” I reprimanded her, “speak ill to a fellow agent; one with many, many years of service.”
“Experience doing what?” muttered Juliet. “Gathering severed heads for his trophy shelf. Using them to give himself ‘blowjobs?”’
“Exactly,” I said. “He was severing girls’ heads, often from their living bodies long before you were even born.”
...
“Or you could just lasso me, and pull me toward you,” she said, knowingly. “You don’t want all this sexy getting eaten by some stupid piranhas, now, do you? Not when you could be eating me, instead.”
“l—l—l—” A knocking at the door saved me having to form a coherent thought. The door opened and two young girls wearing only lipstick and identification anklets marched in. When they saw me, they saluted.
“Agent 8?” they asked, in unison. l nodded.
“Cadet agent Ilsa reporting,” said one, saluting again.
“Cadet agent Sayonara reporting,” said the other, also saluting again.
“Ah, yes,” I said, “|’ve been expecting you.” I turned to Juliet. “l’m going to Big Brother these two girls as well as you, Juliet.”
“And afterward, do you intend to fuck them?” She snarled. ‘
‘I do, indeed." The girls looked at each other, surprised.
Ilsa smiled. Juliet growled at them, and then pouted.
“No pouting," I snapped. “From time-to-time we will each have to perform sexual acts with others for a mission, and to protect The Free World. Me probably more than you. So, you must learn to get along with all other agents, Juliet, and occasionally have sex with them as practice. It's essential in this line of work.”
She stared at me, sadly, for a long moment, then eventually said, her voice a near-whisper, “Yes sir.”
“Now shake hands with cadet agent Ilsa and cadet agent Sayonara.” She did so.
Meanwhile I looked the new girls over. Interesting. Cadet agent Ilsa was tall, wide and handsome; a blonde-haired, fair-skinned Teutonic type with baby-blue eyes and a natural, low-hanging, fifty-inch at least, bosom. Cadet agent Sayonara was short but slender, a petite-breasted, long-legged Asian.
“Cadet agent ||sa,” I explained to Juliet, “is from West Germany. Cadet agent Sayonara, is from South Vietnam.”
“But... isn't Sayonara... Japanese?”
I frowned. Hard.
“We frown hard on political correctness, agent Jones. We frown very hard on political correctness.”
...
“Yiii!” screamed Ilsa, as the first ball-bearing I fired thudded into her more than ample right breast. She didn’t fall, however, but continued doggedly making her way hand over hand along the greased rope.
“While doing your push-ups,” I said to Juliet, letting fly another ball bearing at llsa’s swaying, nude body, “please recite the multiplication tables. You also need to exercise your ability to think clearly while undergoing physical exertion.”
“Yes, sir,” groaned Juliet.
“Yiiiil” screamed Ilsa, as I landed another bullseye.
“Two times one is two,” gasped Juliet, “two times two is four—” “Yiii!” screamed Ilsa, as I fired yet another ball bearing into her softly curved flesh.
“YIIIIIEEE! screamed Ilsa.
“Two times three is—Eeeee!” screamed Juliet.
I frowned. “| didn’t shoot you, Juliet. Don't try to say I did. Why are you screaming?”
“No, look!” Juliet screamed. “The pole at this end is sagging! The greased rope is dropping closer and closer to the surface of the piranha-packed pool!”
I looked. “Help!” screamed Ilsa.
“You’re right,” I said to Juliet. “The rope is sagging. Not only is it now impossible for Ilsa to climb to safety hand over hand, but in a few moments, she’II be dunked into the piranha- infested pool. Mm, mm, mm. Continue your push-ups and reciting the multiplication tables, Juliet.”
“NO!” screamed Juliet. “The rope is sagging more—and more... Now she can only keep her legs out of the water by tucking her knees up under her chin... her milky-white ass is swaying less than an inch above the surface of the pool! You have to—” “
No,” I said sternly, “you have to! Now is the time for you to start obeying orders. Namely, do your push-ups while reciting the multiplication tables.”
“Help!” screamed Ilsa, whose milky-white ass was—indeed —now almost grazing the surface of the water.
“You see, Juliet,” I said sternly, “many times in the field you will have to function clearly and alertly while a fellow agent dies horribly, as Ilsa is now about to die horribly. Oops—l mean, is dying horribly.”
“Help!” screamed llsa. “I am dying horribly! I am eaten alive being! Mine bottom is...” She gave one last horrible scream and dropped into the pool. For several moments her legs and arms thrashed wildly, then all was still. All save for a widening red cloud, which diffused throughout the pool.
“Good Lord—that’s horrible!” gasped Juliet.
“I’ll say,” I said. “That poo|’s filtration system is supposed to kick in by now and clear clouds of blood within seconds. l’|l have to see about having that fixed. Ah, wait... there it is. The water’s clearing. Bigger job than usual, I guess. Wow, what a thorough job those genetically altered piranhas would you look at that? Ilsa’s skeleton has been picked clean.”
...
Juliet pointed with a shaking finger. Sayonara looked, and paled. “No—not really?”
“Really,” I said. “And since Ilsa won’t be needing a hamburger, |’ll take hers.”
“You—you can actually eat?” gasped Juliet. “Seconds after a young, naked, vibrantly alive girl was eaten right in front of you?”
“Sure,” I said. “You know, it’s a funny thing. Whenever I see somebody else eating, even a shoal of piranha, I get hungry.” I began chomping on my hamburger. “Weird, right?”
...
“Mmmm,” I said, sitting back and continuing to eat. “So, class, I think it’s time you girls practiced a little close combat. You’ve both been taught judo, karate, sabot, Tango, commando tactics and the like, I presume?”
They both nodded. Both girls, I noticed, looked almost as green as Ilsa had before she was eaten.
“Excellent,” I said. “Now, tell me girls, in a close combat duel, who would win—a judo/karate/commando-trained fighter, or a fighter with a knife?”
“The first,” said both girls in unison. “Right,” I said. “But what if the fighter with a knife had also been trained in judo/karate/commando tactics?”
Juliet and Sayonara pondered this. “The fighter with the knife,” Sayonara said. “But it would be a very close match,” added Juliet. “As the one without the knife would be very motivated.”
“Right," I said. I picked up a long, wickedly sharp commando knife, hefted it, then tossed it handle first to Juliet. She caught it deftly. “Prove,” I said casually, “the correctness of your last response.”
“l’m sorry, what?” said Juliet, staring blankly at the deadly two-edged knife she held in her right hand.
“Don’t be shy,” I said. “Prove that a knife fighter can kill a fighter without a knife, even if both know judo/karate and commando tactics.’
“You—you mean...?” gasped Juliet.
“Precisely,” I said, with a bite of my burger.
“But—you can’t mean you expect me to kill cadet agent Sayonara just to prove an abstract technical point, can you?”
...
‘‘I can,” I snarled, “and I do.”
“But—but—but—” stammered Juliet.
While the fourth ‘but’ was only half-formed by Juliet’s lips, Sayonara, seeing the deadly dual-edged blade pointed at her Vitals, and Juliet’s indecision—acted. She sprang forward, brought up her right foot in the sweeping kick that karate- trained women and men use to de-knife a knife-wielding opponent Juliet dodged just in time, then stepped deftly back to avoid the lethal swing of Sayonara’s right hand, the edge of which came within inches of breaking Juliet’s jaw. Juliet countered with an upward defensive block, then a vicious low slash of the knife, which Sayonara met with a deadly stab of her left heel—and so it went.
I settled back in my canvas chair, ate and watched, fascinated. The two girls were closely matched. Sayonara, it soon became apparent, was much more skillful in judo, karate and the unarmed combat arts. But Juliet had a knife, a knife she knew how to use. Which would win?
I sat back, got comfortable and waited to find out. Esthetically, the two nude girls fighting made a dramatic, erotic sight. Juliet was tanned a golden bronze, but Sayonara, being Vietnamese, had a natural golden tint to her flesh. The two, at times, resembled goddess statues of purest gold come to deadly life. Around and around they circled, striking, counter-striking, feinting with hands, spinning arms and feet; practiced, deadly; Juliet, having more size in her huge breasts and full buttocks, was at a weight disadvantage compared to Sayonara, whose supple body could move with serpent-like swiftness.
Sayonara struck Juliet in the jaw, the nose, at one point swept a leg out from under her, and gut-punched her, but Juliet maintained her balance, recovered quickly, and struck back with superior strength. Efficiently. Effectively. lmpressively. And Juliet had the knife. A knife that was making more and more small marks on Sayonara’s body.
There was, I decided objectively, no excuse for Juliet not to win within three more minutes. Two minutes and forty-five seconds later Juliet got in a telling up-thrust, and Sayonara staggered back, hands clutched to her middle. Her middle which, I noted with interest, was now bisected by a thin red line from pelvis to rib cage.
“Got her!” Juliet snarled in triumph.
“Almost,” I agreed. “At the moment I agree that Sayonara has been badly cut—on|y her own hands pressed to her belly are keeping her intestines and stomach from falling out. But it is quite incorrect to imply that she's as good as dead. At the moment she is suffering from nothing that a needle and thread couldn’t repair.”
“She IS as good as dead!” hissed Juliet, breathlessly.
“Again, I disagree,” I said. ‘‘I refer you to Icelandic history. One of the Viking chiefs, I forget his name, once had his body cut open while storming a beach with his men. Not only was his stomach cut open, but his intestines spilled out onto the beach. “Nevertheless, he continued fighting and killed his opponent, Iopped the man’s head off as I recall. Thereupon the Viking chief waded out into the sea, washed the sand off his own intestines, and stuffed them back inside. Then he boarded his ship, where his sister, who was handy with a needle and thread, sewed him back together. He lived, according to history, to a ripe old age.”
“Maybe,” hissed Juliet, “maybe not. But I guarantee nobody’s going to sew this bitch back together!”
“Splendid,” I said. “At last, you’re getting the true brutal, callous, inhuman SADISTO spirit. Kill your helpless fellow agent, Juliet!”
“Mercy!” screamed Sayonara, still clutching her stomach and backing away. Juliet hesitated.
“l don’t blame you for hesitating,” I said. “Finishing Sayonara at close range could prove to be messy; her insides might tumble out onto you. You may throw your knife, if you wish.”
Juliet hesitated, then reversed the gleaming commando blade in her hand, drew back her arm, and threw the knife. The silver steel gleamed evilly as it spun through the air. Then, with a meaty thud, it buried itself in Sayonara’s heart.
Sayonara quivered, her eyes rolled up, her hands dropped to her sides, her intestines slopped to the floor, and she herself toppled on top of those vital organs.
“Bravo, Juliet,” I said, setting down my plate. “You have just passed another test, and you’re that much closer to being accepted as a bona fide agent of—where are you? Oh, there you are!”
Juliet, the squeamish girl, had dropped to her knees and was retching into the swimming pool.
“A little retching,” I told her, “is natural and normal after your first kill, but don’t overdo it. Here, l’ll hold your hair, and don’t get your face too close to the pool. Piranhas, remember?”
Juliet jerked her face back just in time to avoid the savage bites of half a dozen piranhas that had frothed up at her.
“l—l killed her!” she gasped. “You certainly did,” I said. “And quite skillfully, too. You may collect a souvenir, if you wish—scalp, ears, an eye, any little thing you feel like keeping. A lot of agents are sentimental about their first kill.”
“Glug, glug,” gasped Juliet, obviously on the verge of retching again.
"Come on, Juliet” I said. “Pull yourself together. Ilsa and Sayonara were sent here specifically to help train you as their final act. And you passed with flying colors! Be proud!”
Juliet rose to her feet and, with great effort, pulled herself together, and even attempted a smile, which was kinda gross because her mouth still had vomit in it. Her eyes, I noted with approval, looked dazed, almost insane. The turquoise had dimmed. She was becoming an agent.
“Before we leave,’’ I said, “you might want to tidy up a little, shove Sayonara’s remains into the pool, and—oh, sorry; excuse me a moment, the phone’s ringing.”
...
“You were right, Trevor,” Juliet said, ‘‘I thought that this would be fun. If you see someone eaten by piranhas in a movie, it’s a kind of scary thrill. You know it’s all pretend, and shocking for entertainment value.”
“Yes,” I agreed, “seeing people pretend to die horribly is a lot of fun.”
“But seeing it in this context,” she said, sniffing back more tears, “knowing that she was a real, flesh and blood person. .
“Real flesh and blood,” I agreed. “So much flesh and blood. Wow. You saw how long it took the filter to clean that out.”
“She was a person that—in other circumstances—might have been a friend. Sayonara and I could have shared lipstick, traded silly notes taped to each other’s doors... and I could die... just like her. And if I fail to perform, fail to learn, I will die... just as horribly. If not more horribly.”
“But cadet agent Jones—l mean Juliet,” I said. “Haven’t you figured it out by now? Neither Sayonara nor—what was her name?—EIsa?”
“llsa.”
“Right. Neither one had the slightest chance of becoming SADISTO agents.”
“Yes, obviously, but...?” Juliet suddenly gasped. “Wait. .
“Exactly,” I said. “You see it now. Sayonara was not Vietnamese, and Ilsa was not West German.”
“Wait,” said Juliet, a small light dawning. “Are you saying Ilsa was... actually... an East German enemy agent, and Sayonara some other Asian enemy agent?”
“Exactly,” I said. “Sayonara was Chinese, with a Japanese name, knowing that we Americans don’t even try to tell the difference. But thanks to our efficient polygraph tests and truth serums, we learned their true identities. In order to study their methods, though, we allowed them to think that they’d penetrated our intelligence network. Both Ilsa and Sayonara, until the instant they were utilized as targets, believed they’d infiltrated the organization as legitimate cadet agents of SADlSTO.”
...
“Wow,” said Juliet. “My gosh. Suddenly I feel so much better, knowing that I disemboweled an enemy agent instead of a failed cadet agent who could have done my hair on Friday nights after a difficult mission. And if I'd known that fat German girl who liked the idea of fucking you was really an enemy agent I wouldn’t have gotten so upset when I saw and heard her being shredded alive by ravenous piranhas. I might even have laughed, a little.”
...
“Just browsing at the moment,” I told him. To Juliet I said, “Want to look the place over?”
She swallowed hard, but nodded her head. I led the way over to the nearest glass cage, inside of which a young, thin, but full-breasted Asian girl was pacing restlessly up and down like an angry panther. I read the small, white card fastened to the glass door.
“Viet Cong guerrilla,” I said. “Presumed age 20. Captured three days ago in a rice paddy armed with a machinegun, and several hand weapons. At first denied enemy activity, then confessed on promise of fair treatment and full pardon if she cooperated.” I laughed.
“Evidently she didn’t know much of value, if she’s been cleared for repatriation after only three days”
“You mean,” said Juliet, “that the CIA thinks she’s on her way back to Vietnam?”
“Sure,” I said cynically. “But what the CIA doesn’t know won’t hurt them. Those boys are a bunch of softies, anyhow. Our way, here at SADISTO, is much better. Not only will the taxpayers be spared the freight of shipping this girl across the Pacific, she can, unwittingly, help The Free World by serving as a useful target on the rifle range, or as a useful subject for any of the many horrible—l mean important—experiments being conducted by our Research and Development People in Department X.”
...
I led the way leisurely down the aisle. The Stockyard was really jammed; |’d seldom seen it so crowded; every glass cell was occupied by a nude, captive enemy agent. Or in a few cases, two.
“Oh!” Juliet stopped, and stared, surprised, and by the inflating state of her nipples, a little aroused. The girl was insatiable. “They’re allowed to have sex?”
“They are,” I said, turning to watch the young couple doing just that. ‘‘It keeps them calm, and entertains us.”
“Although it doesn’t seem to be making them very happy,” Juliet noted, leaning against the glass for a closer look.
I had to agree. They were glaring our way, squinting, teeth- bared, apparently quite angry, even as the man continued thrusting hard, and deep, making the girl’s soft breasts slam up and down in violent harmony. Her legs were wrapped tightly around him, but that, and his relentless movement was the only indication that either of them was remotely interested in the other. I had to remind myself they were not looking at us, but at their own reflections.
“Keep in mind,” I said, “they’re not looking at us, but at their own reflections. Probably opposing agents from antagonistic world organizations who aren’t fully enjoying themselves.”
...
I watched as the raven haired, darkly complected female agent focused, like she was staring right at me, and wished she were staring right at me, while I was on top of her, making her breasts flop around like that.
“Yes,” I said, finally agreeing with Juliet, “a good anger fuck can be both pleasurable, and healthy.”
“Are—are all these people destined to be—used up?” whispered Juliet.
“No need to whisper,” I said, “they can’t hear you through the soundproof glass. And yes, they’ll all be, eh, ‘used up’, as you put it. Which reminds me. Let Siegfried here know if you see any targets that particularly appeal to you. He’ll have them ready and waiting at the rifle range by the time we get there.”
“How many will you be wanting?” cackled Siegfried. I shrugged.
“Oh, a dozen or so should do for today.”
“Could you use two dozen? We’re terribly overcrowded right now—it’s why we put these two together—and l’m expecting a new shipment of subversive Albanians tomorrow.”
“Why not?” I said. “Make it two dozen. We'll take the dark chocolate men over there, those guys who look like they’re covered in sprinkles, and the glazed looking young women in the back. And throw in any plains you might have. I could use a little target practice myself, and like my runners, kind of basic. Not too much added flavor. See anybody you like, JuIiet—or, eh, rather... don’t like?”
“Gee," said Juliet, who looked rather pale, I noticed. “lt’s so hard to choose. I mean, there are so many of them.” She watched the angry couple for a moment, then looked at me out of the corner of her eye with a slight grin. A grin I returned.
“Yes,” I said. ‘‘I think that’s an excellent idea. Make sure we get these two, please, Siggy.”
“Happy to make them available, sir,” he said.
As we strolled through aisle after aisle we were met by a bewildering variety of human targets. Sloe-eyed Romanian girls, tawny as gypsies; arrogant East German men, flaxen- haired and well-muscled; enigmatic Red Chinese girls, high breasted and haughty; sophisticated Russians; pagan-looking Arabs; savage looking Albanians; plump-looking Polish girls; ripe-bodied Cuban girls—dozens and dozens of boys and girls. Heavy on the girls.
“How does it happen,” asked Juliet, “that eight out of ten of these nude captive enemy agents are females?”
‘‘l was just wondering that very thing myself,” I said. “Do you know, Siegfried?”
Siegfried cackled. “Teresa. She used up close to a hundred men, all on her own. Machine gun practice, hand grenade practice, choking practice, cutting up with a knife practice— you know Teresa! She likes to kill men!”
...
Teresa trotted up brandishing the lock of hair she’d cut from her victim's... scalp.
“The range is all yours, chaps.” She halted, and studied Juliet critically.
“A Cadet agent?” she asked me. “Pretty. Nice rack. How is she at anything beyond Seduction? Likely to fail her soon?” Juliet shrank back, and moved behind me a bit. I ignored Teresa.
“Hmmm,” said Teresa. “Not exactly bursting with self- confidence. The General had me act as Big Sister to a couple of male cadet agents like her last week. Good looking. But nervous. Shy, even.” She turned the blade of her little dagger over in her hands, the surrounding lights flared across its surface, making interesting rainbow reflections on Teresa's face as she smiled, darkly. “l flunked them both. Fucked them each as they died.”
...
The metal door on the right sprang open and a staggeringly voluptuous Chinese female enemy agent appeared, glanced around, fired in our direction, then began to sprint like hell toward the opposite door as she continued firing.
“Fire!” I yelled at Juliet. She raised the gun, yanked at the tngger Nothing.
“You forgot to release the safety catch!” I snapped, as the agent’s bullets ripped through the bale of hay in front of us. Juliet clicked the safety catch.
Meanwhile the Chinese enemy agent, her buxom bosom billowing bouncily, was halfway across the range, still firing blindly, but bullets hitting too close for my comfort.
“Juliet!” I yelled as bullets whizzed between our heads. Juliet closed both eyes and fired. “Keep your eyes open!” I ordered.
She opened her eyes, fired again. A spout of straw and dust appeared just behind the frantically running girl. Juliet fired again, and again, the bullets striking in front of or behind the more than ample moving target. Now the Chinese female agent had reached the door marked ‘pull’ and was tugging at it. Naturally, it didn’t open.
“Now that you have a static target,” I said sarcastically to Juliet, “do you think you can do a little better?” “Yes, sir,” said Juliet, clearly distressed. ‘‘I can. I will.” She aimed the Luger carefully, pulled the trigger. Nothing. She’d used the entire magazine.
“What now?” she gasped. “Pick up another gun or reload; whatever works,” I said with irritated indifference, but smelling failure.
Meanwhile the voluptuous Chinese enemy agent, realizing the peril she was in, was taking careful aim. She fired, and struck Juliet in the arm. Juliet screamed, and finally seemed to focus.
The enemy agent, still firing, had begun to stride with rising confidence directly for us. She fired my way this time, but her gun was also empty, and clicked on a spent casing. She threw the gun aside and ran toward the weapons table.
Juliet grabbed a Thompson submachine gun, leveled it, slipped off the safety catch.
“If you miss with that,” I snarled, “l’Il flunk you on the spot!”
Juliet eyed me intensely, angrily, then fired a long burst. She didn’t miss. The voluptuous running Chinese girl suddenly dissolved into red and pink confetti.
“Did—did I get her?” gasped Juliet, still staring at me.
“Yes,” I sighed. “Next time, look at the target, not at me.”
“Yes, sir,” said Juliet. “Uh, pull!”
The metal door on the left was flung open, and a wispy, nude girl with long blonde hair sprang into view. She glanced frantically around, then began to sprint across the rifle range. She had a machinegun but didn’t get to use it. Juliet fragmented her with a short burst from her own weapon.
...
I showed her how to wind up and then load the crossbow. Then I yelled, “Mark!”
A nude girl sprang into view. I chuckled. “Well, what do you know,” I said. “It’s that Viet Cong guerrilla we were looking at in the Stockyard.” The nineteen-year-old guerrilla began to run like mad.
“I'll slow her down for you,” I said, “seeing as how you’re not used to using a crossbow. lt’s trigger operated, just like a gun. Sight along the... that’s it. HeyI” I yelled in Vietnamese, “not that way—this way!”
The girl skidded to a halt, turned and looked at us, shielding her eyes from the bright floodlights all around us. The crossbow in Juliet’s hands made a sound like a plucked then muted guitar string, and an instant later the Viet Cong girl was staring down in horror at the arrow buried almost to the hilt in her middle.
“Load, and fire," I said crisply. Juliet did so.
The Viet Cong girl was swaying on her feet, clutching the shaft of the arrow buried in her, jumped as a second arrow thudded into her right breast. Juliet silently loaded, fired again. A heart shot this time. The Viet Cong girl toppled slowly backward, the bright feathered ends of the arrows jutting up like flagpoles.
...
The ‘Pull’ door opened, and the dark-skinned young man from earlier was shoved out, trying to cover his nakedness. Juliet veered towards him, slapped his hands away, grabbed hold of his manhood, and stroked it furiously to life, taking it in her mouth a couple times to really urge it into stiffness, then pulled him by his hardened dick over to her victim. She knelt down to finish the girl off, raising her own smooth, tanned, young ass—that lovely ass I knew so well, and so intimately—high into the air, wiggling it. “
FUCK ME!” She commanded, pointing her gun at the erect captive agent. He immediately complied, dropping to his knees behind her and entering her as if his life depended on it. Which it did.
“Oh, God, yes—” Juliet moaned, “FUCK ME HARD! ANGER FUCK ME! SLAP MY YASS!” He moved his hips faster, one hand lightly slapping her rump. “SLAP HARDER!” she screamed, and he complied.
“YES,”Juliet screamed. “YES! YES! YES!” And as he leaned in to his work, so did she. Horrible scream after horrible scream of the Bulgarian agent filled the air, and I found myself almost choking up with pride. Juliet Jones had made the grade. She was not, I realized, a cadet agent any more. She was a full-fledged SADISTO killer. A killer for The Free World.
...
I looked at her. Studied her to see if she was fishing for information. As I scowled into her lovely, smiling face, she walked over to me, and began unbuttoning my fly.
“Oh,” she said, looking at her work. “Goodness. I was beginning to wonder if there was anything in there, you showed such little interest in my being naked. But there it is.” She pulled my stiffness free of its confines, and stroked it gently. “And this isn’t a little interest at all.”
She dropped to her knees, and inhaled me—which made me gasp rather unmasculinely. She was already stroking with her right hand as her mouth slid along the entire length of my shaft. The fingertips of her left danced over my dangling balls while her tongue and lips worked magic just above.
“Wooooaaaah. . I said.
“Mmmmm. . she said.
Her hands suddenly grabbed the waist of my trousers, and yanked them down to my thighs, cupping my ass and gripping it with desperate intensity to pull me deeper into her mouth. Then—just as abruptly—she popped her lips and dancing tongue off of me in a way that nearly made me faint. She stood, pushing me back onto what had likely been Trueblue’s desk. Or was intended to appear to be.
The chauffeur walked her legs to either side of me, guiding my spit-soaked head into her soft folds while pressing her own hips forward. The heels brought her high enough for easy entry, so as I lay back, she hip-thrust and quickly swallowed me fully inside her.
...
She stepped back, pulling herself off my still stiffened stiffness, grabbing it to give a quick tug, and slow, slick, sliding pull.
“Mmmm,” she said. “You have given me what no man has ever given me.”
“An orgasm?” I asked.
“That, too,” she said. ‘‘I have to go. But perhaps when you’ve finished your business, before you leave, you'll stop by my place and come inside for another visit?’’
‘‘I would like that,” I said.
“And by ‘come inside,’ I meant, ‘come inside my pussy.’’’
‘‘I got that. The agency has a class in double entendre. I earned a special commendation.”
“Stay away from Krabs Key,” she warned me, unexpectedly, suddenly deeply serious. ‘‘If you go there, you will die. No one goes there, and returns... alive.”
She reluctantly let go of me, and as I reached down to pull up my pants her eyes suddenly widened, blood leaking from a hole in the center of her chest that hadn’t been there before. Then another. Then another.
She collapsed into my arms and smiled. “I die, happy,” she said.
I kissed her gently, sweetly, as she did.
Tossing her body aside, I searched the room, and spotted a silenced gun disappearing out a back window.
...
She dropped her club, and picked up Gunter’s guns. “Damn,” she said, looking down at the fresh corpse. ‘‘l was hoping to make him anger fuck me while I killed Doctor Sin. Just goes to show how a day never ends like you think it will when it starts off. He was hot, too.”
“He wasn't that hot,” I said as if someone had kicked my PUPPY-
“Ooooh,” Juliet said, coming toward me with sympathetic eyes to caress my cheek through the bars. “ls someone jeawous? Is my widdle Trevow jeawous?”
“Eeew, don’t talk baby talk,’’ I said. “lt’s creepy when grown, naked women talk baby talk.’’
...
Sin stopped talking, and just stared. Stared at Juliet, looking for the life of me like a lost, little girl. “Horny, foul-mouthed, passionate, far from virginal Juliet,” Juliet said, more quietly, but far more intense, “and that meant he would never—could never—had never—ever— loved you. And for that sin—and that sin alone—l had to die.”
Sin stared at Juliet with glassy, unblinking eyes for a very long, very silent moment as the world seemed to sit frighteningly still on the point of a pin. “Yes,” Sin whispered, in the heart of that horrible stillness. Then she pulled her gun from its holster and shot my Juliet between the eyes.
....
“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,” Jelena said. “Juliet DIES?” She studied my unblinking stare, and then seemed to genuinely want to cry. “NO!”
“But. . Pyotr said, horrified. “I thought Gran was Juliet.”
“Did anyone ever say that?” my wife asked. “Well, no, but...”
The room sat in silence for a long, stunned moment.
...
I CRADLED MY DEAD love in my arms, and wept. I didn’t care about the blood. I didn’t care about anything. There was no resuscitating her. No fixing the tunnel through her skull. No way to bring back the mischievous turquoise light in those loving, still-open eyes. The only thing I could do was cry.
...
We all ran and Ieapt into the vehicle, crawling over one another for the remaining seats. I noticed the giant rooster was standing aside, still holding Juliet’s body.
“There isn’t,” he said, ‘‘I say, there isn’t enough room for the both of us.”
“You can pile on top of...” I said, then realized. “Oh, you mean for both you and Juliet.”
I studied the forlorn birdman and understood his pain. I walked over to him, staring down into the face of my beloved Juliet. Her expression was beautiful, almost calm, serene. The wound in her forehead seemed smaller, less tragic with much of the blood wiped away, as if it were now just a puncture, or bump she’d gotten in some silly way. I found myself wishing she would open her eyes and say, ‘Oops. What did I walk into?’
“We can’t,” Rooster Man said, “I say, we can’t leave Miss Juliet behind. She loved you I say, she loved you so much.”
He was right, at least as far as I was concerned. I touched her cheek, then kissed her lips with love and sweetness, immediately regretting it.
“Ew,” I said, “that was gross. She’s cold, and already getting rigor. Not as romantic as it looks in the movies.”
...
I turned to the butler who had guided us upstairs. ‘‘Is there a good place near here to murder people?” I asked. ‘‘I have a license." “Wait,” Uncle said. “What?” “There’s a hunting shed at the back of the property,” the butler said, seeming quite happy to help. “Secluded, and the mess won’t matter."
...
“By ‘murder people’ you just mean him, right?” The supermodel asked. “Not me.”
“Oh, no, you’re a matched set,” I said.
“But...” she said, sputtering, “l’m a model!”
“She’ll sleep with you!” Uncle said, “And I have money!”
“Yes!” Supermodel said. “I’ll sleep with you!” “
He’s already sleeping with me,” Sunny said. “Exclusively. And you don’t have money,” she said to her ‘uncle.’ ‘‘I do.”
“You don’t mind that |’m going to murder them?” I asked Sunny-pretending-to-be-Juliet.
“No, I really don’t,” she said, sincerely, though she was obviously still getting used to the idea. “Who doesn’t love some therapeutic revenge porn, now and then, especially on such truly awful people?”
“I’m not as bad as him,” Supermodel said, rather huffily. “I don’t even really like him.”
“You flew down to an island to watch me be murdered in a game show.”
“Oh, my Gawwwwd,” Supermodel said. “You make it sound so much worse than it was.” “And how—exactly—could it not have been as bad as I just made it sound?”
“You could have won!” “Did you bet on me, or against me?”
SupermodeI’s mouth began the fish movement, as Sunny/the New Juliet stared at her a long, long while, then finally said to me; “Can I be the one to kill her?”
“Sure,” I said. And without another word being said—though there was lots of crying by some—we made our way to the hunting shed.
...
A few moments after that l was back at Central Visitor Control, walking past the redhead with a grin, and a wave as if nothing was wrong, I hadn’t just killed three men. The redhead was clearly startled to see me: her mouth opened wide in surprise, her right hand reaching behind a desk for a small weapon.
The gun was back in my hand and sneezed, she closed her mouth, toppled slowly backward as blood shot in a thin stream from between her lips."
Quick book summary:
It's basically Go Go Sadisto rather than the first Sadisto book (afaik, haven't read it and the people who have the books didn't bother posting them). We start with Juliette being trained as an agent, but rather than going around an eliminating a female Olympic team, we get a Dr. No pastiche, with Dr. Moreau and Jurassic Park thrown in. Then Trevor goes back to Sadisto to discover the FBI and CIA raiding the operation, assuring him that the whole thing was insane, and some time travel shenanigans.
"“YOU WANT ME,” I said, still not believing the request, “to tell you how I met your grandmother?” The kids nodded their heads, rapidly, all smiles, and enthusiasm. I knew if I gave them their request, those smiles wouldn’t last. I'd be lucky if they ever again spoke to me.
...
“Fine. So, your mom and I met when I was a spy-slash- government assassin, and she was a hooker hired to entertain me, sexually.” Everyone laughed, and stopped when I didn't. Slowly the smiles all dripped away like show off a wood-burning stove, all except for Pyotr’s. He was always a little slower on the uptake, God love him.
...
“And you should start back a little further, dear,” my wife said. “To when you killed Madame Phu in Singapodia.”
...
CHAPTER 1 “SHE WAS SHOT,” I began, “as she stepped from her shower,” the news stories would say the following day. No mention, though, of the fact that she’d been humming an old Singapodian folk song, a song of seduction, when she stepped daintily and drippingly from behind those glass doors, still wearing her silver strap high heels... No mention of the fact that she’d smiled at me, sexily, while humming, as the water slipped down her lovely, golden body, or that she’d purred to me, with just a trace of Asian-French fusion accent, ‘‘I really shouldn't be granting you an exclusive interview while I am nude in my boudoir, Meestair Hawke, but you Ameri-can journalists are so... persuasive.”
“We are,” I admitted. That’s what I'd told her; that I was a newspaperman. And of course, |’d had the forged credentials to verify my story. But I didn't have to be persuasive. She’d eyed me like a piece of tlavortul seasoned meat the moment she'd laid eyes on me at her inauguration party, had stepped fluidly and unbidden out of her sheer evening gown the moment we were alone. Being a fairly young man, |’d become instantly erect. Something she’d appreciated with a lingering glance of her golden eyes, and warming grin. She'd invited me to join her in the shower as she stepped in still wearing those silver heels, but the last thing I wanted was damp gunpowder. She took my refusal as nervous American prudishness, and left the doors open as continued invitation while she soaped and sponged the smoothness of her lean body—her long legs, sculpted ass, small, but firm breasts, smiling and eyeing me with her half-lidded, lit-from-within, golden flecked eyes the entire time.
“Yeah, we don't need all the sexual detail, pops,” Jelena said. “Sssh!” Pyotr hissed, and smiled. ‘‘I think we do!”
l confinued. “And now, Meestair Hawke,” she’d purred, stepping toward me, ignoring the nearby towel, stroking an erect nipple with one, dainty finger, while raking the fingertips of her other hand through her glistening netherhair, “l invite you tojoin me in my bed, only thees time I weel not take ‘no’ for an answer, as I show you how persuasive we French-accented, Singapodian Comm-oo-nists can be...”
She'd begun to walk slowly toward me, strikingly, purposefully, seductively, nakedly, high-heel-edly...
I shuddered. Once again, I was going to have to bed a foreign seductress. How would my future wife feel about my seemingly endless, amorous misadventures? Would she ever truly understand that frequent illicit sex was something I was required to do for the sake of The Free World? No. It was hard to imagine.
Madame Phu reached for my fly, and I cursed my young man's libido, and above-average girth. There was no hiding my fully aroused sexual interest, and she purred sounds of Singapodian delight as she fondled its thickening length through thin fabric, slowly lowering the zipper that would allow it to spring forth like the happy puppy it was, knowing she would pet, scratch, and stroke it affectionately. At least until she killed it... and me.
“Come,” she said once I was a freed man, not meaning it the way you’re thinking—not yet, anyway—taking hold of it like a handle, and pulling me toward her luxurious, opulent bed. “Satisfy me, and l weel speak of all my many Comm-oo- nist secrets.”
Well, I thought. That’s what |’m here for.
She reached the edge of the bed, turned back to face me with a smile, still tightly gripping the solidity of my shaft. She sat her shower—moist, bare ass back on the bed, and in a very unladylike way, spread her legs. She continued to pull me— forward and, down—until I was forced to put away my notebook, and place my hands to either side of her so I could brace myself on the bed and avoid falling over. She teased the head of my cock just inside her very wet folds, moving it up and down firmly, but gently. It was a fabulous sensation, and her expression showed that she had been expecting my positive response.
“Moof forward, jost a Ieetle,” she said, quietly. I did, and my smaller head was enfolded within snug layers of softness and warmth. She cooed, and mmmm’d, released me, leaning back on her elbows, staring at my face with appreciative intensity. “The look on a mans face when he first feels me around him,” she whispered, “is my favorite moment of the love- making.” “And this is my favorite,” I said, shoving fully into her moist grip, watching her eyes widen in surprise, and erotic upheaval. She reached out and grabbed my shoulders, her face flush with ardor, her lips parted in a shocked ‘O’ of ecstasy, her wide eyes gazing deeply into mine. “Oh, yes,” she said, “Oh, absolutely, yes.”
Her hot, pliant lips attacked mine, our tongues leaping— one into the other’s mouths. She lay back on the bed as I continued to move—slow|y now—in and out, the intensity of our kisses growing.
I broke my lips from the suction of hers, and asked, “What Communist secrets did you wish to reveal, my beautiful Madame Phu?”
But instead of answering, she pulled a Type 56 Chinese assault rifle from under her pillow, and placed its barrel against my head. ‘‘I don’t know, Trevor Hawke, SADISTO agent 8,” she snarled. “What secrets did you wish to reveal to me?”
She laughed, then, at my change of expression, and I admit to being a little surprised, though not enough to stop moving in and out of her. She had known all along! Known that I was an agent of Security Administration Division of the Institute for Special Tactical Operations, or SADISTO for short! I had thought my cover foolproof. I was wearing false glasses! They always worked for Clark Kent! But apparently, I’d become a better- known agent than I realized.
Gathering myself, I began to withdraw, but Madame Phu reached around, clasped my ass, and yanked. I can't tell you how often that happens. Just when I think |’m out, they pull me back in.
She tapped my forehead with the 56. “Finish first,” she insisted. Staring at the gun in her hand, I slowly resumed moving my hips, and saw her will to fight getting lost in the sensation, expressions of deep pleasure inadvertently fading on and off her beautiful Communist features. Then she reached down with her free hand, and began stimulating herself in rhythm with my movement, and for a brief instant, her eyes closed. In that instant I pulled my own weapon—not that one, the gun—and aimed it at her head.
She looked mildly surprised, but kept stimulating, as I continued thrusting. “Really does not change anything, does it,” Phu said. “No, I suppose not,” I agreed. “|t doz make zis. .. somewhat. . she said, .. sexier.”
“Somewhat,” I admitted, still moving in and out of her. Suddenly she gripped me with her thighs, twisted, shoved, and in an instant, I was on my back, her on top, gun barrels still at one another’s heads. Now I was immobilized, and she was moving on me.
“Still doesn’t change much,” I said. “But now I can move in way that please me,” she said, and laughed. “What’s so funny?” I asked. “You want to keel me,” she said, a little out of breath. “and yet you stare at ze bubbling of my breasts.” “Bobbling,” I corrected. “English is strange language,” she said, hips still grinding. “Whatever. You move happily inside my puss-puss. Stare at movements of my naked tit-tits. Soon the distractions will become too much and I will disarm you.”
I cursed inwardly. She was probably right. My inability to control my innate male weakness for visual stimuli was going to get me killed. Probably as I came. Which might not be a bad way to go. But I didn’t want to cum and go. Not yet.
I assessed the situation. We were focused on one another. Both armed. Both moving rhythmically. Both had one free hand. Hers on my chest for balance as she moved with pressure against my abdomen to continue stimulating her clit. My free hand was doing nothing, and I needed to put it to better use. I licked my fingers, and quickly pinched her right nipple. Twisting, kneading, pulling, massaging, after a moment I gripped the entire breast tightly, and squeezed. I saw her eyes roll up, that I'd regained my opportunity. Twist, pull, thrust, and in less than a moment we had rolled to the floor with me on top once again.
Guns still at each other’s heads. Phu again laughed in my face. “Still you fuck in and out of me,” she said. “But faster. Mmm. Better. You love the danger, and my puss-puss—mmm —and it will keel you.”
She twisted, rolled, jerked, and swung, and once again she was on top, her gun at my temple, my gun at hers. She ground her hips faster, and harder.
“Same way you love my cock,” I said, laughing at her, and driving said instrument deeper with each vigorous thrust, while she stared deeply into my eyes, moaning, deliciously, “and... how I use it. It... will be the death of you, Madame Phu, and I will enjoy watching you enjoy it to the very end.”
“'s good cock,” she admitted, momentarily serious. “Nnnnh... I geev you zis.” She ground her hips much faster along with my thrusts. “Eet fuck puss-puss good. So good. But is cock of freedom. I could nevair love cock of freedom. Like very much, but nevair Iove.”
She twisted, and spun, and flopped, but I adjusted so we landed again on her back, with me on top. I was momentarily distracted by the wild bouncing of her tits, she saw her advantage, twisted, spun and flopped again, and regained the upper hand. As she sat atop me, hips now driving madly, she gave an extra bounce to those tumescent titties.
“| tol you... zees boobies... would be zee end of you,” she laughed, gasped for breath, and ground—ground, gasped, and laughed—her expression and flushed color showing she was nearing climax. Though still laughing.
“Soon I weel cum,” she said, and pressed the machine gun barrel more firmly against my temple, “and you weel go.” I pounded my hips into hers, harder, and faster, until she was bouncing up in the air with each thrust.
“Yes, agent Hawke! Yes!” she screamed. “Fuck me! Fuck my puss-puss harder with your Freedom loving American cock! Fill my cunt with your Conservative American idealistic sperm!”
As she reached new heights in so many ways I shoved her upward with one last drive, her eyes closing, her face flooded red with intense passion, and yanked myself free. As she launched into the air I rolled to one side, and aimed, firing at her as I stumbled backwards, stupidly tangling up in my own drawers. She rolled away from me, discharging her 56 without aiming, bullets ripping through her bed canopy, and ceiling, dislodging the chandelier. I shuffled my snarled feet insanely, my butt barely escaping the falling fixture’s blast radius of glass shards, cable, sparks and wire as it exploded on the floor behind me. I shuffled, fired, shuffled, fired.
“Damn you, Hawke!” she yelled. “I was close! Typical American tactic! Always pulling out before zee job is done!” Rising up from behind her bed, Madame Phu took more careful aim just as I tumbled to cover behind a sofa. Bullets shredded fabric, wood, stuffing, loose change caught between seat cushions—everything blasting apart, splintered shrapnel flying everywhere, into everything... including by butt.
“AAH!” I said, in a very un-agent-like way. “HA!” She laughed. “I hope that got you in your smug, ‘pulls out too-soon’ Freedom Loving, American Ass!” I shucked the pants off my ankles, tossed them aside, ignored the splinters, and dropped to the floor to look under what remained of the sofa.
On the other side of the room I could see Madame Phu’s similarly naked butt crouching near the bed. I took careful aim, and watched her left cheek indent, and wobble furiously, creating a feminine scream almost identical in tone and pitch to mine. Abruptly the naked lower body disappeared as she—what?
“You will never stop our evil, Manchurian plot, Agent 8!” she cried, triumphantly. “You will die having never even discovered its existence! I leave you as dissatisfied as you leave me!”
I poked my head up to see her charging across the room, firing too much in my direction to feel good about. I rolled aside, aimed, fired, and saw a look of surprise spread across her face, the 56 falling from her loosening fingertips as she toppled forward onto the lush, luxuriant lime-green shag carpet before me.
She rolled onto her back, and looked up at me in shock. Slowly she began to laugh, choking it off in a bloody gurgle, red rivulets flowing from the corners of her mouth.
“Kiss me,” she said, her voice soft, and feminine, more bubbling red fluid flowing from between her lips, “before... I die.”
“Ew,” I said, grimacing. “I’d really rather not.”
“Zen... just... hold me...”
“Mmm...” I said, scowling and shaking my head.
‘‘I get no... satisfaction... even... in... ze end...”
Dead.
As she said: before I could learn what her evil, Manchurian plot was. But she was wrong in that I had ‘discovered’ its existence.
I stood to stare down at her magnificent, naked body for a brief, sad, reflective moment, then sighed with relief, wallowing in the glorious sensation that l’d survived. Survived, and won. Somehow, weirdly, still erect. Or maybe not so weirdly. That's more a question for psychiatrists.
...
Maybe I did need to retire. The years were taking their toll. Too many missions, too many bad memories, too much meaningless sex, and now I was making mistakes. Most agents didn’t live to be as old as me. I was practically a seasoned veteran within our organization. In my early years I would have fucked Madame Phu willingly, murdered her heartlessly, and escaped un-discover... ed... ly.
....
With nothing else on my mind—not The Genera|’s inevitable anger, not Méi Nfi pleading with her father to let me stay, not my bullshit reasons for not retiring—| fell immediately asleep.
...
As always, she was incredibly beautiful, her honey-gold hair tumbling in lustrous waves over her shoulders, her eyes like glowing blue jewels, her body lush and youthful and entirely feminine.
And—as always—she was completely nude beneath a white silk robe that was so sheer it was barely more than a thought
She took another step toward me, her breasts swaying with the movement, her ripe, luscious lips parting in a smile. “Darling,” I heard her whisper, “my darling, does it really matter so much?”
‘‘It matters,” I heard myself snarl.
“But darling,” she murmured, her hands sliding over the partially open front of her misty robe, untying, loosening, “darling,” she repeated, more lustily, “this is our wedding night —the night I make you a present of—this...”
She parted the white silk, and let the robe drift away from her magnificent body. Completely naked now other than fur covered heels, she stood smiling at me confidently, proud of her full, heavy breasts, proud of the breathtaking narrowness of waist, proud of the flaring womanly curve of her hips, ass, and legs.
She was so lovely it hurt; her body so beautiful—its movements so fluid—it was like a living flame of purest desire. So lovely, so beautiful, so...
... treacherous.
“My body is all yours, Trevor darling,” she whispered, fingers finding the tips of her inflating nipple. “Yours to touch, to caress, to kiss...”
As always, sweat poured down my face, and exuded from the palms of my hands. As always, my hands were trembling so I had to use both of them to steady the .45 Colt automatic I had pointed at her middle, pointed at a spot just below the dimpled delight of her navel.
“Darling,” she crooned, taking another step toward me, out of a Singapodian, glass shower, fur lined high heels clicking on the tile, “darling, you aren’t really going to shoot your love, your desire, your bride... in the stomach—just because I let slip the fact that I'm a dedicated agent of the Communist conspiracy?”
As always, I felt my entire body clench with those words; tighten in on itself with searing pain.
“What about our dream?” she asked. “Our dream of a home in Upper Westchester... the groomed lawns, the perfect yard, the three-point-two children. .
And—as always—my answer was to squeeze the trigger... The gun bellowed deafeningly and the heavy slug smashed into her with the force of a giant’s fist.
She doubled up, reeling backward to crumple to the bathroom floor in a naked, tangled heap of limbs and hair—b|ood spurting from the round, raw hole in her middle.
“How—how could you?” she gasped.
I snarled. “I just aimed and pulled the trigger.”
“I—I’m dying...” she moaned.
“Good!” I laughed.
“Dying in agony...”
“Even better!” I snarled.
“Won’t you—won’t you kiss me goodbye?” she asked weakly.
“N0!”
“Hold me then... as I die...”
“Never,” I snarled—and, after spitting in her lovely face, I turned and walked away...
...
I hated and feared it—The Dream. The dream that was not entirely a dream but mostly a suppressed memory I couldn't shake. The details changed, but the core of it remained the same.
I’d talked to the doctors about it the last time l’d had my compulsory checkup. The psychiatrist had been very polite, very kind, very useless.
“I take it,” he’d said at last, after |’d told him about the Dream, ‘‘I take it that this dream has a basis in reality—that you did, in fact, shoot your bride in the stomach on your wedding night?” ‘
‘I did,” |’d admitted. “What else could I do? She was a dedicated agent of the Communist conspiracy, and l’d found her...
He waited. I waited.
“Yes?” The psychiatrist had asked. “You mean there's more to the story than what’s in the dream?”
“Much more,” l’d said.
....
l spun my head around. The airline hostess had lowered herself into the seat next to me, and was fastening her seat belt. Suspicious? Possibly. She had to sit somewhere if the plane hit turbulence—l knew that—but why had she chosen the vacant seat next to me? There were other vacant seats on the plane.
“Wasn’t what dreadful?” I asked my natural spy caution bordering on paranoia barely held in check.
“That political assassination in Singapodia,” said the hostess, nodding at the paper on my lap. “Funny,” she went on, “how many women—good-looking women—are big shots in Far Eastern politics these days, considering how downtrodden most women in those countries are. Almost as if they're acting out some kind of bizarre, male sex fantasy for men who dream of bedding powerful, exotic women as a way of showing that they still have the power over them. Madame Chiang Kai-Shek, Madame Nu, Nehru’s daughter, Milton Caniff’s The Dragon Lady—and what's her name—that lady Prime Minister in Cey|on—Bandersnatch or something—and of course. .. Madame_Phu.”
“The late Madame Phu,” l corrected.
“Right,” she said, so sadly. “So sad. Who do you suppose killed her?”
“What makes you think I’d know anything about it?” I asked, keeping my voice casual.
“No reason. You seem nice, so I was just making conversation.”
...
“Poor Madame Phu,” sighed the airline hostess. “Why would anyone be so evil as to shoot a poor woman in her own shower?”
“To serve as a warning to other Communists, I suppose,” I said, searching her eyes for a subtextual response. A giveaway. A tell.
...
“And Singapodia was tough,” The General said. “The important thing is that you succeeded in permanently neutralizing Madame Phu. Did she die hard?”
I nodded. “Real hard.” I neglected to mention that I had also been hard. “She wanted to be held as she died, and I refused.”
...
“Do you not sleep with women when we ask you to?” he demanded. “And pay you to do it? Madame Phu being only the most recent example?”
“Well, that’s different,” I said, looking at the ceiling. The floor. Anywhere but the General’s wrinkled stiffy. “
Is it?” he asked. “Is it really? So, when you slept with the head of the Sockson Corporation before throwing her out a window...”
“There was no throwing,” I said, defiantly. “And I didn't sleep with her, we were both awake at the time. I was ramming her from behind against the plate glass of her office when she tried to kill me with a sword, so I ducked, and thrust at the same time. The glass shattered, and... well... there was no sleeping.” “I read the report,” he admonished.
“So, you didn't ‘sleep’, but you fucked her. To death, basically. As you fucked her on that circus trapeze to gain vital, Free World information. As you also fucked her on the roof of her corporate headquarters while you both dangled from a helicopter simultaneously trying to get hold of that decrypted Translation of the Voynich Diaries. For which you were paid.”
...
“Not a soul, 8,” Hans grumbled. “You and your cadet-in- training kin go right on in. Heh, heh, heh! Nice titties. Kin I touch?”
He wiggled his fingers toward Juliet, and she stepped back.
“No,” Juliet said, then looked nervously at me. “He can’t, can he?”
“Not if you don’t want him to,” I said. ‘‘It wouldn’t be considered part of your training.”
“Then I don’t want him to,” she said, defiantly at him.
“Yer loss,” he said, chuckled again, then went back to his racing sheet. “|’ll get ‘em later, though.”
“What an obnoxious old man,” Juliet whispered as we walked toward the door that led to the course. “What did he mean by that?”
“He means if you get killed,” I explained, “he’ll have access to your body. Or whatever parts are left intact. He's already decided which ones he wants, apparently.”
“Don’t let him! Please, Trevor! If all that’s left of me is a nipple, I don't want that creepy old fuck anywhere near it!”
...
Anatomically, she was a dream. I looked back with bliss to the time we'd spent fucking each other, and eagerly looked forward to fucking her in the future. Many times, in many different ways. Nevertheless. Nevertheless, once she got out onto the Obstacle Course, I ceased to think of her as a bed-friend-slash-potentiaI wife-mate and mother of three point two or more of my children. She became instead: A Target; a target I was required as a Mentor Agent to riddle with expanding machine gun bullets if at all possible; a target it was my obligation to explode into red and white fragments of the former ex-cadet agent Juliet Jones as unacceptable for the ranks of SADISTO.
...
I swiveled the machine gun, waited until I figured she was about where I was aiming, let fly. Hot damn! I’d come close to grazing her butt again that time! The tracers really lit it up. Such a pretty bottom, she had. I would miss that butt.
I heard a faint, dismal wall from out of the darkness. I chuckled to myself. Oh, yes, she felt the wind of them.
...
On the way out of the Obstacle Course the caretaker took one look at Juliet—still whole, head attached—and groaned in disappointment.
“Poor old ghoul,” Juliet said as I led the way into the elevator, “he really had his heart set on a head from Wes... consin. Sorry to disappoint you, you grisly fuck!”
“Don’t,” I reprimanded her, “speak ill to a fellow agent; one with many, many years of service.”
“Experience doing what?” muttered Juliet. “Gathering severed heads for his trophy shelf. Using them to give himself ‘blowjobs?”’
“Exactly,” I said. “He was severing girls’ heads, often from their living bodies long before you were even born.”
...
“Or you could just lasso me, and pull me toward you,” she said, knowingly. “You don’t want all this sexy getting eaten by some stupid piranhas, now, do you? Not when you could be eating me, instead.”
“l—l—l—” A knocking at the door saved me having to form a coherent thought. The door opened and two young girls wearing only lipstick and identification anklets marched in. When they saw me, they saluted.
“Agent 8?” they asked, in unison. l nodded.
“Cadet agent Ilsa reporting,” said one, saluting again.
“Cadet agent Sayonara reporting,” said the other, also saluting again.
“Ah, yes,” I said, “|’ve been expecting you.” I turned to Juliet. “l’m going to Big Brother these two girls as well as you, Juliet.”
“And afterward, do you intend to fuck them?” She snarled. ‘
‘I do, indeed." The girls looked at each other, surprised.
Ilsa smiled. Juliet growled at them, and then pouted.
“No pouting," I snapped. “From time-to-time we will each have to perform sexual acts with others for a mission, and to protect The Free World. Me probably more than you. So, you must learn to get along with all other agents, Juliet, and occasionally have sex with them as practice. It's essential in this line of work.”
She stared at me, sadly, for a long moment, then eventually said, her voice a near-whisper, “Yes sir.”
“Now shake hands with cadet agent Ilsa and cadet agent Sayonara.” She did so.
Meanwhile I looked the new girls over. Interesting. Cadet agent Ilsa was tall, wide and handsome; a blonde-haired, fair-skinned Teutonic type with baby-blue eyes and a natural, low-hanging, fifty-inch at least, bosom. Cadet agent Sayonara was short but slender, a petite-breasted, long-legged Asian.
“Cadet agent ||sa,” I explained to Juliet, “is from West Germany. Cadet agent Sayonara, is from South Vietnam.”
“But... isn't Sayonara... Japanese?”
I frowned. Hard.
“We frown hard on political correctness, agent Jones. We frown very hard on political correctness.”
...
“Yiii!” screamed Ilsa, as the first ball-bearing I fired thudded into her more than ample right breast. She didn’t fall, however, but continued doggedly making her way hand over hand along the greased rope.
“While doing your push-ups,” I said to Juliet, letting fly another ball bearing at llsa’s swaying, nude body, “please recite the multiplication tables. You also need to exercise your ability to think clearly while undergoing physical exertion.”
“Yes, sir,” groaned Juliet.
“Yiiiil” screamed Ilsa, as I landed another bullseye.
“Two times one is two,” gasped Juliet, “two times two is four—” “Yiii!” screamed Ilsa, as I fired yet another ball bearing into her softly curved flesh.
“YIIIIIEEE! screamed Ilsa.
“Two times three is—Eeeee!” screamed Juliet.
I frowned. “| didn’t shoot you, Juliet. Don't try to say I did. Why are you screaming?”
“No, look!” Juliet screamed. “The pole at this end is sagging! The greased rope is dropping closer and closer to the surface of the piranha-packed pool!”
I looked. “Help!” screamed Ilsa.
“You’re right,” I said to Juliet. “The rope is sagging. Not only is it now impossible for Ilsa to climb to safety hand over hand, but in a few moments, she’II be dunked into the piranha- infested pool. Mm, mm, mm. Continue your push-ups and reciting the multiplication tables, Juliet.”
“NO!” screamed Juliet. “The rope is sagging more—and more... Now she can only keep her legs out of the water by tucking her knees up under her chin... her milky-white ass is swaying less than an inch above the surface of the pool! You have to—” “
No,” I said sternly, “you have to! Now is the time for you to start obeying orders. Namely, do your push-ups while reciting the multiplication tables.”
“Help!” screamed Ilsa, whose milky-white ass was—indeed —now almost grazing the surface of the water.
“You see, Juliet,” I said sternly, “many times in the field you will have to function clearly and alertly while a fellow agent dies horribly, as Ilsa is now about to die horribly. Oops—l mean, is dying horribly.”
“Help!” screamed llsa. “I am dying horribly! I am eaten alive being! Mine bottom is...” She gave one last horrible scream and dropped into the pool. For several moments her legs and arms thrashed wildly, then all was still. All save for a widening red cloud, which diffused throughout the pool.
“Good Lord—that’s horrible!” gasped Juliet.
“I’ll say,” I said. “That poo|’s filtration system is supposed to kick in by now and clear clouds of blood within seconds. l’|l have to see about having that fixed. Ah, wait... there it is. The water’s clearing. Bigger job than usual, I guess. Wow, what a thorough job those genetically altered piranhas would you look at that? Ilsa’s skeleton has been picked clean.”
...
Juliet pointed with a shaking finger. Sayonara looked, and paled. “No—not really?”
“Really,” I said. “And since Ilsa won’t be needing a hamburger, |’ll take hers.”
“You—you can actually eat?” gasped Juliet. “Seconds after a young, naked, vibrantly alive girl was eaten right in front of you?”
“Sure,” I said. “You know, it’s a funny thing. Whenever I see somebody else eating, even a shoal of piranha, I get hungry.” I began chomping on my hamburger. “Weird, right?”
...
“Mmmm,” I said, sitting back and continuing to eat. “So, class, I think it’s time you girls practiced a little close combat. You’ve both been taught judo, karate, sabot, Tango, commando tactics and the like, I presume?”
They both nodded. Both girls, I noticed, looked almost as green as Ilsa had before she was eaten.
“Excellent,” I said. “Now, tell me girls, in a close combat duel, who would win—a judo/karate/commando-trained fighter, or a fighter with a knife?”
“The first,” said both girls in unison. “Right,” I said. “But what if the fighter with a knife had also been trained in judo/karate/commando tactics?”
Juliet and Sayonara pondered this. “The fighter with the knife,” Sayonara said. “But it would be a very close match,” added Juliet. “As the one without the knife would be very motivated.”
“Right," I said. I picked up a long, wickedly sharp commando knife, hefted it, then tossed it handle first to Juliet. She caught it deftly. “Prove,” I said casually, “the correctness of your last response.”
“l’m sorry, what?” said Juliet, staring blankly at the deadly two-edged knife she held in her right hand.
“Don’t be shy,” I said. “Prove that a knife fighter can kill a fighter without a knife, even if both know judo/karate and commando tactics.’
“You—you mean...?” gasped Juliet.
“Precisely,” I said, with a bite of my burger.
“But—you can’t mean you expect me to kill cadet agent Sayonara just to prove an abstract technical point, can you?”
...
‘‘I can,” I snarled, “and I do.”
“But—but—but—” stammered Juliet.
While the fourth ‘but’ was only half-formed by Juliet’s lips, Sayonara, seeing the deadly dual-edged blade pointed at her Vitals, and Juliet’s indecision—acted. She sprang forward, brought up her right foot in the sweeping kick that karate- trained women and men use to de-knife a knife-wielding opponent Juliet dodged just in time, then stepped deftly back to avoid the lethal swing of Sayonara’s right hand, the edge of which came within inches of breaking Juliet’s jaw. Juliet countered with an upward defensive block, then a vicious low slash of the knife, which Sayonara met with a deadly stab of her left heel—and so it went.
I settled back in my canvas chair, ate and watched, fascinated. The two girls were closely matched. Sayonara, it soon became apparent, was much more skillful in judo, karate and the unarmed combat arts. But Juliet had a knife, a knife she knew how to use. Which would win?
I sat back, got comfortable and waited to find out. Esthetically, the two nude girls fighting made a dramatic, erotic sight. Juliet was tanned a golden bronze, but Sayonara, being Vietnamese, had a natural golden tint to her flesh. The two, at times, resembled goddess statues of purest gold come to deadly life. Around and around they circled, striking, counter-striking, feinting with hands, spinning arms and feet; practiced, deadly; Juliet, having more size in her huge breasts and full buttocks, was at a weight disadvantage compared to Sayonara, whose supple body could move with serpent-like swiftness.
Sayonara struck Juliet in the jaw, the nose, at one point swept a leg out from under her, and gut-punched her, but Juliet maintained her balance, recovered quickly, and struck back with superior strength. Efficiently. Effectively. lmpressively. And Juliet had the knife. A knife that was making more and more small marks on Sayonara’s body.
There was, I decided objectively, no excuse for Juliet not to win within three more minutes. Two minutes and forty-five seconds later Juliet got in a telling up-thrust, and Sayonara staggered back, hands clutched to her middle. Her middle which, I noted with interest, was now bisected by a thin red line from pelvis to rib cage.
“Got her!” Juliet snarled in triumph.
“Almost,” I agreed. “At the moment I agree that Sayonara has been badly cut—on|y her own hands pressed to her belly are keeping her intestines and stomach from falling out. But it is quite incorrect to imply that she's as good as dead. At the moment she is suffering from nothing that a needle and thread couldn’t repair.”
“She IS as good as dead!” hissed Juliet, breathlessly.
“Again, I disagree,” I said. ‘‘I refer you to Icelandic history. One of the Viking chiefs, I forget his name, once had his body cut open while storming a beach with his men. Not only was his stomach cut open, but his intestines spilled out onto the beach. “Nevertheless, he continued fighting and killed his opponent, Iopped the man’s head off as I recall. Thereupon the Viking chief waded out into the sea, washed the sand off his own intestines, and stuffed them back inside. Then he boarded his ship, where his sister, who was handy with a needle and thread, sewed him back together. He lived, according to history, to a ripe old age.”
“Maybe,” hissed Juliet, “maybe not. But I guarantee nobody’s going to sew this bitch back together!”
“Splendid,” I said. “At last, you’re getting the true brutal, callous, inhuman SADISTO spirit. Kill your helpless fellow agent, Juliet!”
“Mercy!” screamed Sayonara, still clutching her stomach and backing away. Juliet hesitated.
“l don’t blame you for hesitating,” I said. “Finishing Sayonara at close range could prove to be messy; her insides might tumble out onto you. You may throw your knife, if you wish.”
Juliet hesitated, then reversed the gleaming commando blade in her hand, drew back her arm, and threw the knife. The silver steel gleamed evilly as it spun through the air. Then, with a meaty thud, it buried itself in Sayonara’s heart.
Sayonara quivered, her eyes rolled up, her hands dropped to her sides, her intestines slopped to the floor, and she herself toppled on top of those vital organs.
“Bravo, Juliet,” I said, setting down my plate. “You have just passed another test, and you’re that much closer to being accepted as a bona fide agent of—where are you? Oh, there you are!”
Juliet, the squeamish girl, had dropped to her knees and was retching into the swimming pool.
“A little retching,” I told her, “is natural and normal after your first kill, but don’t overdo it. Here, l’ll hold your hair, and don’t get your face too close to the pool. Piranhas, remember?”
Juliet jerked her face back just in time to avoid the savage bites of half a dozen piranhas that had frothed up at her.
“l—l killed her!” she gasped. “You certainly did,” I said. “And quite skillfully, too. You may collect a souvenir, if you wish—scalp, ears, an eye, any little thing you feel like keeping. A lot of agents are sentimental about their first kill.”
“Glug, glug,” gasped Juliet, obviously on the verge of retching again.
"Come on, Juliet” I said. “Pull yourself together. Ilsa and Sayonara were sent here specifically to help train you as their final act. And you passed with flying colors! Be proud!”
Juliet rose to her feet and, with great effort, pulled herself together, and even attempted a smile, which was kinda gross because her mouth still had vomit in it. Her eyes, I noted with approval, looked dazed, almost insane. The turquoise had dimmed. She was becoming an agent.
“Before we leave,’’ I said, “you might want to tidy up a little, shove Sayonara’s remains into the pool, and—oh, sorry; excuse me a moment, the phone’s ringing.”
...
“You were right, Trevor,” Juliet said, ‘‘I thought that this would be fun. If you see someone eaten by piranhas in a movie, it’s a kind of scary thrill. You know it’s all pretend, and shocking for entertainment value.”
“Yes,” I agreed, “seeing people pretend to die horribly is a lot of fun.”
“But seeing it in this context,” she said, sniffing back more tears, “knowing that she was a real, flesh and blood person. .
“Real flesh and blood,” I agreed. “So much flesh and blood. Wow. You saw how long it took the filter to clean that out.”
“She was a person that—in other circumstances—might have been a friend. Sayonara and I could have shared lipstick, traded silly notes taped to each other’s doors... and I could die... just like her. And if I fail to perform, fail to learn, I will die... just as horribly. If not more horribly.”
“But cadet agent Jones—l mean Juliet,” I said. “Haven’t you figured it out by now? Neither Sayonara nor—what was her name?—EIsa?”
“llsa.”
“Right. Neither one had the slightest chance of becoming SADISTO agents.”
“Yes, obviously, but...?” Juliet suddenly gasped. “Wait. .
“Exactly,” I said. “You see it now. Sayonara was not Vietnamese, and Ilsa was not West German.”
“Wait,” said Juliet, a small light dawning. “Are you saying Ilsa was... actually... an East German enemy agent, and Sayonara some other Asian enemy agent?”
“Exactly,” I said. “Sayonara was Chinese, with a Japanese name, knowing that we Americans don’t even try to tell the difference. But thanks to our efficient polygraph tests and truth serums, we learned their true identities. In order to study their methods, though, we allowed them to think that they’d penetrated our intelligence network. Both Ilsa and Sayonara, until the instant they were utilized as targets, believed they’d infiltrated the organization as legitimate cadet agents of SADlSTO.”
...
“Wow,” said Juliet. “My gosh. Suddenly I feel so much better, knowing that I disemboweled an enemy agent instead of a failed cadet agent who could have done my hair on Friday nights after a difficult mission. And if I'd known that fat German girl who liked the idea of fucking you was really an enemy agent I wouldn’t have gotten so upset when I saw and heard her being shredded alive by ravenous piranhas. I might even have laughed, a little.”
...
“Just browsing at the moment,” I told him. To Juliet I said, “Want to look the place over?”
She swallowed hard, but nodded her head. I led the way over to the nearest glass cage, inside of which a young, thin, but full-breasted Asian girl was pacing restlessly up and down like an angry panther. I read the small, white card fastened to the glass door.
“Viet Cong guerrilla,” I said. “Presumed age 20. Captured three days ago in a rice paddy armed with a machinegun, and several hand weapons. At first denied enemy activity, then confessed on promise of fair treatment and full pardon if she cooperated.” I laughed.
“Evidently she didn’t know much of value, if she’s been cleared for repatriation after only three days”
“You mean,” said Juliet, “that the CIA thinks she’s on her way back to Vietnam?”
“Sure,” I said cynically. “But what the CIA doesn’t know won’t hurt them. Those boys are a bunch of softies, anyhow. Our way, here at SADISTO, is much better. Not only will the taxpayers be spared the freight of shipping this girl across the Pacific, she can, unwittingly, help The Free World by serving as a useful target on the rifle range, or as a useful subject for any of the many horrible—l mean important—experiments being conducted by our Research and Development People in Department X.”
...
I led the way leisurely down the aisle. The Stockyard was really jammed; |’d seldom seen it so crowded; every glass cell was occupied by a nude, captive enemy agent. Or in a few cases, two.
“Oh!” Juliet stopped, and stared, surprised, and by the inflating state of her nipples, a little aroused. The girl was insatiable. “They’re allowed to have sex?”
“They are,” I said, turning to watch the young couple doing just that. ‘‘It keeps them calm, and entertains us.”
“Although it doesn’t seem to be making them very happy,” Juliet noted, leaning against the glass for a closer look.
I had to agree. They were glaring our way, squinting, teeth- bared, apparently quite angry, even as the man continued thrusting hard, and deep, making the girl’s soft breasts slam up and down in violent harmony. Her legs were wrapped tightly around him, but that, and his relentless movement was the only indication that either of them was remotely interested in the other. I had to remind myself they were not looking at us, but at their own reflections.
“Keep in mind,” I said, “they’re not looking at us, but at their own reflections. Probably opposing agents from antagonistic world organizations who aren’t fully enjoying themselves.”
...
I watched as the raven haired, darkly complected female agent focused, like she was staring right at me, and wished she were staring right at me, while I was on top of her, making her breasts flop around like that.
“Yes,” I said, finally agreeing with Juliet, “a good anger fuck can be both pleasurable, and healthy.”
“Are—are all these people destined to be—used up?” whispered Juliet.
“No need to whisper,” I said, “they can’t hear you through the soundproof glass. And yes, they’ll all be, eh, ‘used up’, as you put it. Which reminds me. Let Siegfried here know if you see any targets that particularly appeal to you. He’ll have them ready and waiting at the rifle range by the time we get there.”
“How many will you be wanting?” cackled Siegfried. I shrugged.
“Oh, a dozen or so should do for today.”
“Could you use two dozen? We’re terribly overcrowded right now—it’s why we put these two together—and l’m expecting a new shipment of subversive Albanians tomorrow.”
“Why not?” I said. “Make it two dozen. We'll take the dark chocolate men over there, those guys who look like they’re covered in sprinkles, and the glazed looking young women in the back. And throw in any plains you might have. I could use a little target practice myself, and like my runners, kind of basic. Not too much added flavor. See anybody you like, JuIiet—or, eh, rather... don’t like?”
“Gee," said Juliet, who looked rather pale, I noticed. “lt’s so hard to choose. I mean, there are so many of them.” She watched the angry couple for a moment, then looked at me out of the corner of her eye with a slight grin. A grin I returned.
“Yes,” I said. ‘‘I think that’s an excellent idea. Make sure we get these two, please, Siggy.”
“Happy to make them available, sir,” he said.
As we strolled through aisle after aisle we were met by a bewildering variety of human targets. Sloe-eyed Romanian girls, tawny as gypsies; arrogant East German men, flaxen- haired and well-muscled; enigmatic Red Chinese girls, high breasted and haughty; sophisticated Russians; pagan-looking Arabs; savage looking Albanians; plump-looking Polish girls; ripe-bodied Cuban girls—dozens and dozens of boys and girls. Heavy on the girls.
“How does it happen,” asked Juliet, “that eight out of ten of these nude captive enemy agents are females?”
‘‘l was just wondering that very thing myself,” I said. “Do you know, Siegfried?”
Siegfried cackled. “Teresa. She used up close to a hundred men, all on her own. Machine gun practice, hand grenade practice, choking practice, cutting up with a knife practice— you know Teresa! She likes to kill men!”
...
Teresa trotted up brandishing the lock of hair she’d cut from her victim's... scalp.
“The range is all yours, chaps.” She halted, and studied Juliet critically.
“A Cadet agent?” she asked me. “Pretty. Nice rack. How is she at anything beyond Seduction? Likely to fail her soon?” Juliet shrank back, and moved behind me a bit. I ignored Teresa.
“Hmmm,” said Teresa. “Not exactly bursting with self- confidence. The General had me act as Big Sister to a couple of male cadet agents like her last week. Good looking. But nervous. Shy, even.” She turned the blade of her little dagger over in her hands, the surrounding lights flared across its surface, making interesting rainbow reflections on Teresa's face as she smiled, darkly. “l flunked them both. Fucked them each as they died.”
...
The metal door on the right sprang open and a staggeringly voluptuous Chinese female enemy agent appeared, glanced around, fired in our direction, then began to sprint like hell toward the opposite door as she continued firing.
“Fire!” I yelled at Juliet. She raised the gun, yanked at the tngger Nothing.
“You forgot to release the safety catch!” I snapped, as the agent’s bullets ripped through the bale of hay in front of us. Juliet clicked the safety catch.
Meanwhile the Chinese enemy agent, her buxom bosom billowing bouncily, was halfway across the range, still firing blindly, but bullets hitting too close for my comfort.
“Juliet!” I yelled as bullets whizzed between our heads. Juliet closed both eyes and fired. “Keep your eyes open!” I ordered.
She opened her eyes, fired again. A spout of straw and dust appeared just behind the frantically running girl. Juliet fired again, and again, the bullets striking in front of or behind the more than ample moving target. Now the Chinese female agent had reached the door marked ‘pull’ and was tugging at it. Naturally, it didn’t open.
“Now that you have a static target,” I said sarcastically to Juliet, “do you think you can do a little better?” “Yes, sir,” said Juliet, clearly distressed. ‘‘I can. I will.” She aimed the Luger carefully, pulled the trigger. Nothing. She’d used the entire magazine.
“What now?” she gasped. “Pick up another gun or reload; whatever works,” I said with irritated indifference, but smelling failure.
Meanwhile the voluptuous Chinese enemy agent, realizing the peril she was in, was taking careful aim. She fired, and struck Juliet in the arm. Juliet screamed, and finally seemed to focus.
The enemy agent, still firing, had begun to stride with rising confidence directly for us. She fired my way this time, but her gun was also empty, and clicked on a spent casing. She threw the gun aside and ran toward the weapons table.
Juliet grabbed a Thompson submachine gun, leveled it, slipped off the safety catch.
“If you miss with that,” I snarled, “l’Il flunk you on the spot!”
Juliet eyed me intensely, angrily, then fired a long burst. She didn’t miss. The voluptuous running Chinese girl suddenly dissolved into red and pink confetti.
“Did—did I get her?” gasped Juliet, still staring at me.
“Yes,” I sighed. “Next time, look at the target, not at me.”
“Yes, sir,” said Juliet. “Uh, pull!”
The metal door on the left was flung open, and a wispy, nude girl with long blonde hair sprang into view. She glanced frantically around, then began to sprint across the rifle range. She had a machinegun but didn’t get to use it. Juliet fragmented her with a short burst from her own weapon.
...
I showed her how to wind up and then load the crossbow. Then I yelled, “Mark!”
A nude girl sprang into view. I chuckled. “Well, what do you know,” I said. “It’s that Viet Cong guerrilla we were looking at in the Stockyard.” The nineteen-year-old guerrilla began to run like mad.
“I'll slow her down for you,” I said, “seeing as how you’re not used to using a crossbow. lt’s trigger operated, just like a gun. Sight along the... that’s it. HeyI” I yelled in Vietnamese, “not that way—this way!”
The girl skidded to a halt, turned and looked at us, shielding her eyes from the bright floodlights all around us. The crossbow in Juliet’s hands made a sound like a plucked then muted guitar string, and an instant later the Viet Cong girl was staring down in horror at the arrow buried almost to the hilt in her middle.
“Load, and fire," I said crisply. Juliet did so.
The Viet Cong girl was swaying on her feet, clutching the shaft of the arrow buried in her, jumped as a second arrow thudded into her right breast. Juliet silently loaded, fired again. A heart shot this time. The Viet Cong girl toppled slowly backward, the bright feathered ends of the arrows jutting up like flagpoles.
...
The ‘Pull’ door opened, and the dark-skinned young man from earlier was shoved out, trying to cover his nakedness. Juliet veered towards him, slapped his hands away, grabbed hold of his manhood, and stroked it furiously to life, taking it in her mouth a couple times to really urge it into stiffness, then pulled him by his hardened dick over to her victim. She knelt down to finish the girl off, raising her own smooth, tanned, young ass—that lovely ass I knew so well, and so intimately—high into the air, wiggling it. “
FUCK ME!” She commanded, pointing her gun at the erect captive agent. He immediately complied, dropping to his knees behind her and entering her as if his life depended on it. Which it did.
“Oh, God, yes—” Juliet moaned, “FUCK ME HARD! ANGER FUCK ME! SLAP MY YASS!” He moved his hips faster, one hand lightly slapping her rump. “SLAP HARDER!” she screamed, and he complied.
“YES,”Juliet screamed. “YES! YES! YES!” And as he leaned in to his work, so did she. Horrible scream after horrible scream of the Bulgarian agent filled the air, and I found myself almost choking up with pride. Juliet Jones had made the grade. She was not, I realized, a cadet agent any more. She was a full-fledged SADISTO killer. A killer for The Free World.
...
I looked at her. Studied her to see if she was fishing for information. As I scowled into her lovely, smiling face, she walked over to me, and began unbuttoning my fly.
“Oh,” she said, looking at her work. “Goodness. I was beginning to wonder if there was anything in there, you showed such little interest in my being naked. But there it is.” She pulled my stiffness free of its confines, and stroked it gently. “And this isn’t a little interest at all.”
She dropped to her knees, and inhaled me—which made me gasp rather unmasculinely. She was already stroking with her right hand as her mouth slid along the entire length of my shaft. The fingertips of her left danced over my dangling balls while her tongue and lips worked magic just above.
“Wooooaaaah. . I said.
“Mmmmm. . she said.
Her hands suddenly grabbed the waist of my trousers, and yanked them down to my thighs, cupping my ass and gripping it with desperate intensity to pull me deeper into her mouth. Then—just as abruptly—she popped her lips and dancing tongue off of me in a way that nearly made me faint. She stood, pushing me back onto what had likely been Trueblue’s desk. Or was intended to appear to be.
The chauffeur walked her legs to either side of me, guiding my spit-soaked head into her soft folds while pressing her own hips forward. The heels brought her high enough for easy entry, so as I lay back, she hip-thrust and quickly swallowed me fully inside her.
...
She stepped back, pulling herself off my still stiffened stiffness, grabbing it to give a quick tug, and slow, slick, sliding pull.
“Mmmm,” she said. “You have given me what no man has ever given me.”
“An orgasm?” I asked.
“That, too,” she said. ‘‘I have to go. But perhaps when you’ve finished your business, before you leave, you'll stop by my place and come inside for another visit?’’
‘‘I would like that,” I said.
“And by ‘come inside,’ I meant, ‘come inside my pussy.’’’
‘‘I got that. The agency has a class in double entendre. I earned a special commendation.”
“Stay away from Krabs Key,” she warned me, unexpectedly, suddenly deeply serious. ‘‘If you go there, you will die. No one goes there, and returns... alive.”
She reluctantly let go of me, and as I reached down to pull up my pants her eyes suddenly widened, blood leaking from a hole in the center of her chest that hadn’t been there before. Then another. Then another.
She collapsed into my arms and smiled. “I die, happy,” she said.
I kissed her gently, sweetly, as she did.
Tossing her body aside, I searched the room, and spotted a silenced gun disappearing out a back window.
...
She dropped her club, and picked up Gunter’s guns. “Damn,” she said, looking down at the fresh corpse. ‘‘l was hoping to make him anger fuck me while I killed Doctor Sin. Just goes to show how a day never ends like you think it will when it starts off. He was hot, too.”
“He wasn't that hot,” I said as if someone had kicked my PUPPY-
“Ooooh,” Juliet said, coming toward me with sympathetic eyes to caress my cheek through the bars. “ls someone jeawous? Is my widdle Trevow jeawous?”
“Eeew, don’t talk baby talk,’’ I said. “lt’s creepy when grown, naked women talk baby talk.’’
...
Sin stopped talking, and just stared. Stared at Juliet, looking for the life of me like a lost, little girl. “Horny, foul-mouthed, passionate, far from virginal Juliet,” Juliet said, more quietly, but far more intense, “and that meant he would never—could never—had never—ever— loved you. And for that sin—and that sin alone—l had to die.”
Sin stared at Juliet with glassy, unblinking eyes for a very long, very silent moment as the world seemed to sit frighteningly still on the point of a pin. “Yes,” Sin whispered, in the heart of that horrible stillness. Then she pulled her gun from its holster and shot my Juliet between the eyes.
....
“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT,” Jelena said. “Juliet DIES?” She studied my unblinking stare, and then seemed to genuinely want to cry. “NO!”
“But. . Pyotr said, horrified. “I thought Gran was Juliet.”
“Did anyone ever say that?” my wife asked. “Well, no, but...”
The room sat in silence for a long, stunned moment.
...
I CRADLED MY DEAD love in my arms, and wept. I didn’t care about the blood. I didn’t care about anything. There was no resuscitating her. No fixing the tunnel through her skull. No way to bring back the mischievous turquoise light in those loving, still-open eyes. The only thing I could do was cry.
...
We all ran and Ieapt into the vehicle, crawling over one another for the remaining seats. I noticed the giant rooster was standing aside, still holding Juliet’s body.
“There isn’t,” he said, ‘‘I say, there isn’t enough room for the both of us.”
“You can pile on top of...” I said, then realized. “Oh, you mean for both you and Juliet.”
I studied the forlorn birdman and understood his pain. I walked over to him, staring down into the face of my beloved Juliet. Her expression was beautiful, almost calm, serene. The wound in her forehead seemed smaller, less tragic with much of the blood wiped away, as if it were now just a puncture, or bump she’d gotten in some silly way. I found myself wishing she would open her eyes and say, ‘Oops. What did I walk into?’
“We can’t,” Rooster Man said, “I say, we can’t leave Miss Juliet behind. She loved you I say, she loved you so much.”
He was right, at least as far as I was concerned. I touched her cheek, then kissed her lips with love and sweetness, immediately regretting it.
“Ew,” I said, “that was gross. She’s cold, and already getting rigor. Not as romantic as it looks in the movies.”
...
I turned to the butler who had guided us upstairs. ‘‘Is there a good place near here to murder people?” I asked. ‘‘I have a license." “Wait,” Uncle said. “What?” “There’s a hunting shed at the back of the property,” the butler said, seeming quite happy to help. “Secluded, and the mess won’t matter."
...
“By ‘murder people’ you just mean him, right?” The supermodel asked. “Not me.”
“Oh, no, you’re a matched set,” I said.
“But...” she said, sputtering, “l’m a model!”
“She’ll sleep with you!” Uncle said, “And I have money!”
“Yes!” Supermodel said. “I’ll sleep with you!” “
He’s already sleeping with me,” Sunny said. “Exclusively. And you don’t have money,” she said to her ‘uncle.’ ‘‘I do.”
“You don’t mind that |’m going to murder them?” I asked Sunny-pretending-to-be-Juliet.
“No, I really don’t,” she said, sincerely, though she was obviously still getting used to the idea. “Who doesn’t love some therapeutic revenge porn, now and then, especially on such truly awful people?”
“I’m not as bad as him,” Supermodel said, rather huffily. “I don’t even really like him.”
“You flew down to an island to watch me be murdered in a game show.”
“Oh, my Gawwwwd,” Supermodel said. “You make it sound so much worse than it was.” “And how—exactly—could it not have been as bad as I just made it sound?”
“You could have won!” “Did you bet on me, or against me?”
SupermodeI’s mouth began the fish movement, as Sunny/the New Juliet stared at her a long, long while, then finally said to me; “Can I be the one to kill her?”
“Sure,” I said. And without another word being said—though there was lots of crying by some—we made our way to the hunting shed.
...
A few moments after that l was back at Central Visitor Control, walking past the redhead with a grin, and a wave as if nothing was wrong, I hadn’t just killed three men. The redhead was clearly startled to see me: her mouth opened wide in surprise, her right hand reaching behind a desk for a small weapon.
The gun was back in my hand and sneezed, she closed her mouth, toppled slowly backward as blood shot in a thin stream from between her lips."
Quick book summary:
It's basically Go Go Sadisto rather than the first Sadisto book (afaik, haven't read it and the people who have the books didn't bother posting them). We start with Juliette being trained as an agent, but rather than going around an eliminating a female Olympic team, we get a Dr. No pastiche, with Dr. Moreau and Jurassic Park thrown in. Then Trevor goes back to Sadisto to discover the FBI and CIA raiding the operation, assuring him that the whole thing was insane, and some time travel shenanigans.
