Oh did I go on an
adventure. One of the great zako mysteries I had in my mind was a cover of a Judge Dredd comic I saw in an EGM I had growing up. The other is side art on an arcade cabinet of Final Fight that was of Poison, I think, cause I remember the hat but I've never been able to find it again.
Anyway I remember the cover having Dredd standing on a pile of bodies, presumably of bad guys. What I remembered so clearly was that one of them was a blonde woman in a skin-tight grey suit. I remembered her hair flowing out from behind her head as she stared, empty eyed, into the air. It was an image that was burned into my brain, and it was one that made me feel guilty and upset at finding it as exciting as I did. A domino to a lifetime of shame, that thing
One day, I donno when, I realized that EGM has archives that people made of the magazines. PDFs scanned in, dated back to the first issue. I decided, then, to look for it. I needed to know what it was. I needed to remember, I needed to confront the memory I had. Also I was sure I saw a preview of SoR3 where Soozie didn't have a mohawk so I really wanted to see if I was right.
So I scoured the archives, and it was actually pretty fun! Looking at the covers and recognizing them, remembering which ones I spent a lot of time looking at, having some part of me suddenly recognize where in the magazine I was based on ads I remember thumbing past. It was an experience I really haven't had in a while.
It bore fruit, too. I found the spread where I saw the cover. It didn't... look all that great, but it was scanned in and small. It was a promotion for a DC run of Judge Dredd, which I didn't realize happened. But I had found it! After all this time, I could find it again. I could figure out who that blonde woman was, and maybe now that I'm okay with these things it'll be a good find.
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IT WAS NOT A GOOD FIND. This was the ISSUE ONE COVER, and look at the art it's got. This is their opening swing! Their best shot! My memory had done wonders for how that grey suited girl looked, cause boy, it's far from impressive. Also, she
never shows up in the comics. Not issue one, not any other issue. The most you get of her is on another cover as like, a background image.
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That's it. That's all! I don't know who she is, the story doesn't ever touch her. She
never shows up.
So, well... one mystery that has plagued me for like 2 decades solved. I'm glad something that was so consequential to me turned out to be
fucking nothing
Well, maybe I'll find that side art one day.