Organizing our own custom Zako/Henchwomen movie (3 Viewers)
- Thread starter Amazon Shark
- Start date
- Watchers 15
S
sleeperkid
FYI: Jacquelyn Velvets and I live together...so we BOTH have access to the house and exterior sets. :-)
MacabeNova
Casual Client
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2012
I swear to GOD if you people do this at a time where I have no money and you DON'T put Natasha in a shik suit, at LEAST, I will be SOOOO disappointed...
But I'm one customer. I'm just saying, if this ends up being a bikini and plainclothes thing, count me out. Sentries NEED uniforms, uniforms to me are catsuits and leos and such.
But I'm one customer. I'm just saying, if this ends up being a bikini and plainclothes thing, count me out. Sentries NEED uniforms, uniforms to me are catsuits and leos and such.
Amazon Shark
Master of this Domain
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2012
I'm down.
I agree, the henchwomen should be in catsuits, body suits, or tight shirt with leggings, with boots of course. And they should match and be identical.
I agree, the henchwomen should be in catsuits, body suits, or tight shirt with leggings, with boots of course. And they should match and be identical.
Minion
Master of this Domain
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2012
Acording to SKW website, Natasha is only on Limited Availability.
I think that most people on this board seam to agree that Uniatrd/leotard (anything skintight) is the best uniform for this custom (fans of skirts and bikinis are mostly on Deadskirt and Evil Babes forum).
I'd be wiling to put in around $250-$350 for this custom. Unfortunately, i dont have enough time to be in charge of script since I'm currently working in Korea for a few months while also planing for my wedding at the same time. If anyone els is up for it; Amazon Shark, you seamed like a skilled script writer
The basic consensus seam to indicate most people want;
Villains 4-5 Zako
Heroine - Female
Costumes - Leotard/Unitard/Shik costume
No deaths
Hand to hand combat (tranquilizer gun, ok)
No Clones (multi knockouts-wake up instead)
PARTIALLY in plain clothes to establish individual personality and background of the zako
Some suggestions of wrestlers;
Sumiko
Natasha (if available)
Jackson (would be a great heroine. skilled, tough and beautiful)
Ivy Sloan
Jacqeline Velvet
Devon
Link to the available Roster on SKW's sight
Sleeperkid's World
Any suggestions? which girls do you like?
Stuelpner_Karl
Swell Supporter
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2013
I think this can give many sponsors with different preferences the opportunity to see what they want at some point of the movie. People may also pick their favorite girl (if available) and decide most details of her role. With more sponsors, the movie (and the individual scenes) can get longer, to the benefit of all.
You may sponsor Natasha and make sure that she has most of her screen time wearing uniform.
I'd rather sponsor Cameron, who would play a bigger role in the early part, wearing plainclothes.
Somebody may want bikinis, so his girl can get caught by the heroine while changing from plainclothes to uniform, for example.
MacabeNova
Casual Client
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2012
70% of SK's clips have them in bikinis. I don't DISLIKE it, it's just BORING when you have the chance to do your own thing, you know?
Amazon Shark
Master of this Domain
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2012
That's good. You guys did really well on the VF movie "The Day The Clones Died". The way it was edited made it seem like there were many henchwomen, especially the final shoot-out, and that was only using 2 girls. Imagine how good it would be with the proposed 6 girl henchwomen army.
I like Jackson as the hero, and add Sinn Sage as one of the henchwomen.
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Amazon Shark
Master of this Domain
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2012
I could write up a rough draft script.
S
sleeperkid
A quick sneak peek at a "sorta" Zako themed shoot...with Agent Saya taking on two masked thuggettes at a time ;-)
Minion
Master of this Domain
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2012
Big fan of your work Sleeperkid, I bought many sentry clips from your sight, keep up the good work!
question, does anyone know where this clip is from? I know it's from SKW, but i can't find it on the website (and this image was posted on DA last year)
Poor Sumiko being beet up by a gang (I can imagine each girl with the word "goon" or "mook" written on her t-shirt. Their simple matching "uniform" of black t-shirt and jeans reminds me of the goons from the old 60s Batman show
I imagine by the end of the clip, Sumiko has turned the tables on these beautiful thuggettes
source; SK's DA page; sleeperkid's deviantART gallery
----------------
On another note, there's a guy who I first noticed a couple of years ago who is also trying to start his own productions in the female combatants genre clips.
here's his Model Mayhem page; http://www.modelmayhem.com/2089449#
He has recently resurfaced on the DeadSkirt (username vizitor) page and posted information that he's hoping to re-start with his project. he even posted a preview clip on youtube.
http://deadskirts.com/superboard/vi...=&sid=ff0f9297e75f44f3db8cb553b81b13e6#259835
Look promising, I'm planing to support his work anyway I can.
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Stuelpner_Karl
Swell Supporter
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2013
So it's doable with just a few contributors, who have room to put in their ideas. When more people join with other wishes, there may be easily a few minutes added.
I am. (The final decision depends on script, cast and cost of course, but I'm confident.)
MacabeNova
Casual Client
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2012
ah, you guys are gonna do what you want. I wish I could get Natasha in that Shik costume, but I guarantee I'm the guiy with the least money on this board. It's not gonna happen for me. But if however many of you hit this and it ISN'T great, I'm gonna be so disappointed. :)
Amazon Shark
Master of this Domain
- Joined
- Aug 21, 2012
Finishing up the script today. It should be uploaded by tonight.
- - - Updated - - -
OK, here is the first rough draft of the script.
Heroine:
SUMIKO
Henchwomen:
JACKSON
IVY SLOAN
JACQUELYN VELVETS
CANDLE BOXX
ELIZA
Henchwomen are wearing plain clothes for first fight scene. Try to have some girls wearing casual clothes, and some girls somewhat fancier clothes, but still casual wear.
Later fight scenes have the girls wearing identical uniform of tight black bodysuit/catsuit, red belt, black boots, black hand-guards/wristbands.
SUMIKO is dressed in a sexy top, and short shorts, and wearing sneakers. She has a gun in the beginning, but doesn't get to use it.
Setting: Inside/Outside of house.
Plot:
Super-spy hero, SUMIKO, got a tip from a spy buddy about experiments going on at the evil organization's hideout (the house), where they extract a prisoner's thoughts and knowledge so they can use the info against the US and take over the world.
We see SUMIKO approaching the house outside, she sneaks up to the wall, and slowly starts approaching the back door. She pulls out her gun. She looks around, and doesn't see any guards. "Hmm," she says to herself, "it's a little too quiet around here."
She opens the door slowly, she peeks inside, then enters the house, and closes the door. There is no one around...
She walks around the house, looking in each room. "Maybe they're out shopping" SUMIKO says sarcastically. SUMIKO slowly enters the living room by the front door. She then notices that five henchwomen are approaching the front door, carrying shopping bags. "Oh, they WERE out shopping" SUMIKO exclaimed.
(The henchwomen are in plain clothes, carry shopping bags, talking to each other)
SUMIKO hides behind a couch or piece of furniture. As she goes to hide, she drops her cell phone, the one issued to her by the spy organization to keep in touch with her superiors. The henchwomen walk in. They are chatting about the new uniforms they picked up, and how it will make it harder for their prisoners to tell each girl apart. They then move on to talk about their recent prisoner and the government secrets he knows. The girls do not notice the phone on the floor.
While that is going on, SUMIKO realizes she dropped her phone. If the henchwomen see it, they'll know a spy is in the house. She slowly crawls over to where the phone is, hoping the henchwomen do not notice her. Just as she is about to grab the phone, a foot steps on the phone, SUMIKO looks up, and it's JACQUELYN VELVETS.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" JACQUELYN VELVETS says. IVY SLOAN and JACKSON grab SUMIKO by the arms. JACQUELYN VELVETS takes SUMIKO's gun, "I'll take that" JACQUELYN says, "Agent SUMIKO, is it? I've heard a lot about you. You're one of the best agents the American's have. You must know a lot of things that would be helpful to our organization. Please, come with us, let me show you what we do here."
SUMIKO complies, and IVY SLOAN and JACKSON escort SUMIKO towards the stairs, but then, SUMIKO head-butts JACKSON, who is knocked out cold, and falls on the floor, face up. SUMIKO then gives a nice upper-cut to IVY SLOAN, and she falls over a couch, on her side, knocked out cold. But then, JACQUELYN VELVETS pulls SUMIKO's gun on SUMIKO, aiming it at her head.
"OK, enough of that," JACQUELYN VELVETS says calmly, still pointing the gun at SUMIKO, who stops resisting. CANDLE and ELIZA now grab SUMIKO, and escort SUMIKO downstairs, with JACQUELYN VELVETS following, still pointing the gun.
CANDLE and ELIZA, holding SUMIKO, enter a room with a chair and a computer. "This is what we use to extract enemies' knowlegde" JACQUELYN VELVETS explains behind them, "and you're the next lucky winner to try it out". JACQUELYN VELVETS immediately knocks SUMIKO over the head with her gun, knocking her out. Screen goes black.
(From this point on, all the henchwomen are in identically dressed uniform)
Fade back in. Sumiko wakes up, tied to the chair. She starts trying to untie herself. CANDLE and ELIZA are guarding the door, in uniform now, and JACQUELYN VELVETS (in uniform as well) tells them, "I have the hard drive containing SUMIKO's knowledge. Make sure you guys dispose of her before she wakes up." She leaves. CANDLE and ELIZA enter the room, with SUMIKO pretending to be asleep now, and they approach her. ELIZA says, "We'll strangle her". CANDLE agrees. ELIZA goes to grab SUMIKO's throat, but SUMIKO grabs her wrists right before, and throws them away. She kicks CANDLE, knocking her out. CANDLE falls back towards a wall, and slides down. SUMIKO then quickly punches ELIZA, who falls face down towards the door out of the room. She's still conscious, and SUMIKO kicks ELIZA in the face, ensuring she is KO'd. Sumiko leaves. A quick shot of the two defeated henchwomen.
SUMIKO is mad now. The henchwomen have her government knowledge saved on a flash drive, and she needs to get it back.
She is sneaking around the house, she spots IVY SLOAN pacing around the kitchen. She sneaks up on IVY SLOAN, grabs her mouth and throat, and puts her to sleep. SUMIKO tosses IVY SLOAN on the floor like garbage, and IVY falls face down. A couple of angles of IVY on the floor.
She enters the living room near the front door. JACQUELYN VELVETS spots SUMIKO, "HEY!" JACQUELYN VELVETS yells, she goes to fight SUMIKO, and punches her in the face. SUMIKO falls to the floor, but gets up quickly. SUMIKO kicks JACQUELYN VELVETS leg, making her fall a bit, then punches her in the face. JACQUELYN VELVETS falls to the floor. "Give me the flash drive." Sumiko exclaims. JACQUELYN VELVETS gets up, and runs towards SUMIKO, hollering as she does so. SUMIKO dodges JACQUELYN, and actually pushes her towards the up-stairs. JACQUELYN VELVETS hits her head against the wall, knocking her out. She falls on the up-stairs, face down.
Suddenly, four more henchwomen appear: ELIZA and CANDLE from downstairs, IVY SLOAN and JACKSON from the kitchen. JACKSON goes for SUMIKO first, she throws a punch, SUMIKO blocks it, and hits JACKSON back. CANDLE goes for a shot, and hits SUMIKO hard, but she stands her ground.
(Meanwhile, while all this action is going on, we should be able to see JACQUELYN VELVETS, and any other defeated henchwomen, in the background (or foreground) with a mix of different angles.)
JACKSON goes to attack SUMIKO again, but SUMIKO does a quick spin, and kicks JACKSON's legs from under her, she falls, and SUMIKO gives a nice swift kick to JACKSON, knocking her out near the entrance to the kitchen/rest of the house near where IVY SLOAN is standing. JACKSON rests on her side, with one arm stretched out.
IVY SLOAN then kicks SUMIKO in the back, and SUMIKO falls to her knees. IVY SLOAN walks around her, ready to knock SUMIKO out, but SUMIKO quickly stands up and gives IVY SLOAN a nice upper-cut, knocking her out. IVY SLOAN falls to her knees, near JACKSON, and her upper body falls face down, with her butt sticking up in the air (Agent Aika-style). ELIZA tries to attack from behind, but SUMIKO raises her fist and hits ELIZA in the face without even turning around. ELIZA falls back immediately, and clutches her face. (She doesn't lose consciousness right away, but at some point during the rest of this scene, we see that she is indeed KO'd.) CANDLE is the only one left standing, and she puts on a good fight against SUMIKO. They both exchange punches, while we, the audience, get good shots of the defeated henchwomen while the action continues around them. Finally, CANDLE lets her guard down, and SUMIKO gives CANDLE a nice roundhouse kick, and CANDLE falls on top of a couch, face up. She dizzly gets up, her eyes roll up, and she falls on the couch again, face up, knocked out cold.
"Whew" sighs SUMIKO. She walks over to JACQUELYN VELVETS, pats her down, feeling for the flash drive that she has. She feels up her back, her butt, her legs, then she feels the flash drive under JACQUELYN VELVETS' belt. She pulls it out, steps on it. "I don't believe you'll be stealing my info again any time soon, bitch." SUMIKO says as she leaves.
SUMIKO heads for the back door, ELIZA yells "STOP!" SUMIKO turns around quickly, punches ELIZA in the stomach, "OOOHMP". Then SUMIKO elbow checks ELIZA in the face, and she falls face down, with her head towards the door. SUMIKO heads outside.
SUMIKO is now at a shed. "This is the weapons shed. They took my gun, so I'll take one of theirs." She walks up to the shed door, but it is locked. "Shit!" Suddenly, the five henchwomen appear, looking a little disheveled. "You're not going anywhere" exclaimed JACQUELYN VELVETS.
CANDLE approaches SUMIKO near the entrance of the shed, who punches CANDLE in the face, and she falls face down on the entrance ramp, knocked out cold. Sumiko steps over CANDLE, JACQUELYN VELVETS goes to punch SUMIKO, and she blocks JACQUELYN VELVETS punch, and pushes her away. SUMIKO runs down to the bottom of the ramp. IVY SLOAN and ELIZA both lunge over to SUMIKO and grab her arms, and pull her down to her knees. JACQUELYN VELVETS walks over to SUMIKO, pulls her gun at her, pointing it to her head. "Looking for this?"
"Yea" SUMIKO says, with a small smirk on her face. She head-butts the gun, knocking it out of JACQUELYN VELVETS' hands, she pulls JACKSON towards JACQUELYN VELVETS and they knock into each other. She then pulls IVY SLOAN in front of her, and punches her in the face, knocking her out cold. IVY SLOAN falls to the ground, on her side, facing the shed.
(Once again,we should be able to see any defeated henchwomen, in the background)
ELIZA punches SUMIKO, but SUMIKO gives her a left and a right and a left and a right and so on for about 10 seconds, then a swift uppercut and ELIZA is propelled into the air and falls into a garbage can (or something similar) face-first, and then the can falls onto its side, and rolls over a little. ELIZA is knocked out cold. JACKSON puts up a decent fight against SUMIKO, giving her a lot of kicks. SUMIKO almost seems like she's going to lose, but she returns all those kicks with a swift kick in the face, and knocks JACKSON out cold. JACKSON falls on top of ELIZA, face down.
"You've got to be kidding me", gasps JACQUELYN VELVETS, "I'm going to finish this once and for all." She gives SUMIKO some karate chops, but misses SUMIKO. SUMIKO does some quick moves, so fast that JACQUELYN VELVETS loses her. SUMIKO moves behind JACQUELYN VELVETS, grabs her gun off the ground, and points it at JACQUELYN VELVETS, who quickly puts her hands up. "No one hits me with my own gun" SUMIKO says, and hits JACQUELYN VELVETS over the head with the gun. She lets out a scream in pain, turns to face the shed, falls on her knees, and her upper body falls face down with her butt sticking up in the air (Agent Aika-style.)
"Well, now that I have my gun, I don't need to get inside the shed. I'm outta here." And with that, SUMIKO leaves. We get a nice bunch of views of the defeated henchwomen.
THE END?
EDIT - I just edited the script to include a henchwoman being thrown into a garbage can.
- - - Updated - - -
OK, here is the first rough draft of the script.
Heroine:
SUMIKO
Henchwomen:
JACKSON
IVY SLOAN
JACQUELYN VELVETS
CANDLE BOXX
ELIZA
Henchwomen are wearing plain clothes for first fight scene. Try to have some girls wearing casual clothes, and some girls somewhat fancier clothes, but still casual wear.
Later fight scenes have the girls wearing identical uniform of tight black bodysuit/catsuit, red belt, black boots, black hand-guards/wristbands.
SUMIKO is dressed in a sexy top, and short shorts, and wearing sneakers. She has a gun in the beginning, but doesn't get to use it.
Setting: Inside/Outside of house.
Plot:
Super-spy hero, SUMIKO, got a tip from a spy buddy about experiments going on at the evil organization's hideout (the house), where they extract a prisoner's thoughts and knowledge so they can use the info against the US and take over the world.
We see SUMIKO approaching the house outside, she sneaks up to the wall, and slowly starts approaching the back door. She pulls out her gun. She looks around, and doesn't see any guards. "Hmm," she says to herself, "it's a little too quiet around here."
She opens the door slowly, she peeks inside, then enters the house, and closes the door. There is no one around...
She walks around the house, looking in each room. "Maybe they're out shopping" SUMIKO says sarcastically. SUMIKO slowly enters the living room by the front door. She then notices that five henchwomen are approaching the front door, carrying shopping bags. "Oh, they WERE out shopping" SUMIKO exclaimed.
(The henchwomen are in plain clothes, carry shopping bags, talking to each other)
SUMIKO hides behind a couch or piece of furniture. As she goes to hide, she drops her cell phone, the one issued to her by the spy organization to keep in touch with her superiors. The henchwomen walk in. They are chatting about the new uniforms they picked up, and how it will make it harder for their prisoners to tell each girl apart. They then move on to talk about their recent prisoner and the government secrets he knows. The girls do not notice the phone on the floor.
While that is going on, SUMIKO realizes she dropped her phone. If the henchwomen see it, they'll know a spy is in the house. She slowly crawls over to where the phone is, hoping the henchwomen do not notice her. Just as she is about to grab the phone, a foot steps on the phone, SUMIKO looks up, and it's JACQUELYN VELVETS.
"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" JACQUELYN VELVETS says. IVY SLOAN and JACKSON grab SUMIKO by the arms. JACQUELYN VELVETS takes SUMIKO's gun, "I'll take that" JACQUELYN says, "Agent SUMIKO, is it? I've heard a lot about you. You're one of the best agents the American's have. You must know a lot of things that would be helpful to our organization. Please, come with us, let me show you what we do here."
SUMIKO complies, and IVY SLOAN and JACKSON escort SUMIKO towards the stairs, but then, SUMIKO head-butts JACKSON, who is knocked out cold, and falls on the floor, face up. SUMIKO then gives a nice upper-cut to IVY SLOAN, and she falls over a couch, on her side, knocked out cold. But then, JACQUELYN VELVETS pulls SUMIKO's gun on SUMIKO, aiming it at her head.
"OK, enough of that," JACQUELYN VELVETS says calmly, still pointing the gun at SUMIKO, who stops resisting. CANDLE and ELIZA now grab SUMIKO, and escort SUMIKO downstairs, with JACQUELYN VELVETS following, still pointing the gun.
CANDLE and ELIZA, holding SUMIKO, enter a room with a chair and a computer. "This is what we use to extract enemies' knowlegde" JACQUELYN VELVETS explains behind them, "and you're the next lucky winner to try it out". JACQUELYN VELVETS immediately knocks SUMIKO over the head with her gun, knocking her out. Screen goes black.
(From this point on, all the henchwomen are in identically dressed uniform)
Fade back in. Sumiko wakes up, tied to the chair. She starts trying to untie herself. CANDLE and ELIZA are guarding the door, in uniform now, and JACQUELYN VELVETS (in uniform as well) tells them, "I have the hard drive containing SUMIKO's knowledge. Make sure you guys dispose of her before she wakes up." She leaves. CANDLE and ELIZA enter the room, with SUMIKO pretending to be asleep now, and they approach her. ELIZA says, "We'll strangle her". CANDLE agrees. ELIZA goes to grab SUMIKO's throat, but SUMIKO grabs her wrists right before, and throws them away. She kicks CANDLE, knocking her out. CANDLE falls back towards a wall, and slides down. SUMIKO then quickly punches ELIZA, who falls face down towards the door out of the room. She's still conscious, and SUMIKO kicks ELIZA in the face, ensuring she is KO'd. Sumiko leaves. A quick shot of the two defeated henchwomen.
SUMIKO is mad now. The henchwomen have her government knowledge saved on a flash drive, and she needs to get it back.
She is sneaking around the house, she spots IVY SLOAN pacing around the kitchen. She sneaks up on IVY SLOAN, grabs her mouth and throat, and puts her to sleep. SUMIKO tosses IVY SLOAN on the floor like garbage, and IVY falls face down. A couple of angles of IVY on the floor.
She enters the living room near the front door. JACQUELYN VELVETS spots SUMIKO, "HEY!" JACQUELYN VELVETS yells, she goes to fight SUMIKO, and punches her in the face. SUMIKO falls to the floor, but gets up quickly. SUMIKO kicks JACQUELYN VELVETS leg, making her fall a bit, then punches her in the face. JACQUELYN VELVETS falls to the floor. "Give me the flash drive." Sumiko exclaims. JACQUELYN VELVETS gets up, and runs towards SUMIKO, hollering as she does so. SUMIKO dodges JACQUELYN, and actually pushes her towards the up-stairs. JACQUELYN VELVETS hits her head against the wall, knocking her out. She falls on the up-stairs, face down.
Suddenly, four more henchwomen appear: ELIZA and CANDLE from downstairs, IVY SLOAN and JACKSON from the kitchen. JACKSON goes for SUMIKO first, she throws a punch, SUMIKO blocks it, and hits JACKSON back. CANDLE goes for a shot, and hits SUMIKO hard, but she stands her ground.
(Meanwhile, while all this action is going on, we should be able to see JACQUELYN VELVETS, and any other defeated henchwomen, in the background (or foreground) with a mix of different angles.)
JACKSON goes to attack SUMIKO again, but SUMIKO does a quick spin, and kicks JACKSON's legs from under her, she falls, and SUMIKO gives a nice swift kick to JACKSON, knocking her out near the entrance to the kitchen/rest of the house near where IVY SLOAN is standing. JACKSON rests on her side, with one arm stretched out.
IVY SLOAN then kicks SUMIKO in the back, and SUMIKO falls to her knees. IVY SLOAN walks around her, ready to knock SUMIKO out, but SUMIKO quickly stands up and gives IVY SLOAN a nice upper-cut, knocking her out. IVY SLOAN falls to her knees, near JACKSON, and her upper body falls face down, with her butt sticking up in the air (Agent Aika-style). ELIZA tries to attack from behind, but SUMIKO raises her fist and hits ELIZA in the face without even turning around. ELIZA falls back immediately, and clutches her face. (She doesn't lose consciousness right away, but at some point during the rest of this scene, we see that she is indeed KO'd.) CANDLE is the only one left standing, and she puts on a good fight against SUMIKO. They both exchange punches, while we, the audience, get good shots of the defeated henchwomen while the action continues around them. Finally, CANDLE lets her guard down, and SUMIKO gives CANDLE a nice roundhouse kick, and CANDLE falls on top of a couch, face up. She dizzly gets up, her eyes roll up, and she falls on the couch again, face up, knocked out cold.
"Whew" sighs SUMIKO. She walks over to JACQUELYN VELVETS, pats her down, feeling for the flash drive that she has. She feels up her back, her butt, her legs, then she feels the flash drive under JACQUELYN VELVETS' belt. She pulls it out, steps on it. "I don't believe you'll be stealing my info again any time soon, bitch." SUMIKO says as she leaves.
SUMIKO heads for the back door, ELIZA yells "STOP!" SUMIKO turns around quickly, punches ELIZA in the stomach, "OOOHMP". Then SUMIKO elbow checks ELIZA in the face, and she falls face down, with her head towards the door. SUMIKO heads outside.
SUMIKO is now at a shed. "This is the weapons shed. They took my gun, so I'll take one of theirs." She walks up to the shed door, but it is locked. "Shit!" Suddenly, the five henchwomen appear, looking a little disheveled. "You're not going anywhere" exclaimed JACQUELYN VELVETS.
CANDLE approaches SUMIKO near the entrance of the shed, who punches CANDLE in the face, and she falls face down on the entrance ramp, knocked out cold. Sumiko steps over CANDLE, JACQUELYN VELVETS goes to punch SUMIKO, and she blocks JACQUELYN VELVETS punch, and pushes her away. SUMIKO runs down to the bottom of the ramp. IVY SLOAN and ELIZA both lunge over to SUMIKO and grab her arms, and pull her down to her knees. JACQUELYN VELVETS walks over to SUMIKO, pulls her gun at her, pointing it to her head. "Looking for this?"
"Yea" SUMIKO says, with a small smirk on her face. She head-butts the gun, knocking it out of JACQUELYN VELVETS' hands, she pulls JACKSON towards JACQUELYN VELVETS and they knock into each other. She then pulls IVY SLOAN in front of her, and punches her in the face, knocking her out cold. IVY SLOAN falls to the ground, on her side, facing the shed.
(Once again,we should be able to see any defeated henchwomen, in the background)
ELIZA punches SUMIKO, but SUMIKO gives her a left and a right and a left and a right and so on for about 10 seconds, then a swift uppercut and ELIZA is propelled into the air and falls into a garbage can (or something similar) face-first, and then the can falls onto its side, and rolls over a little. ELIZA is knocked out cold. JACKSON puts up a decent fight against SUMIKO, giving her a lot of kicks. SUMIKO almost seems like she's going to lose, but she returns all those kicks with a swift kick in the face, and knocks JACKSON out cold. JACKSON falls on top of ELIZA, face down.
"You've got to be kidding me", gasps JACQUELYN VELVETS, "I'm going to finish this once and for all." She gives SUMIKO some karate chops, but misses SUMIKO. SUMIKO does some quick moves, so fast that JACQUELYN VELVETS loses her. SUMIKO moves behind JACQUELYN VELVETS, grabs her gun off the ground, and points it at JACQUELYN VELVETS, who quickly puts her hands up. "No one hits me with my own gun" SUMIKO says, and hits JACQUELYN VELVETS over the head with the gun. She lets out a scream in pain, turns to face the shed, falls on her knees, and her upper body falls face down with her butt sticking up in the air (Agent Aika-style.)
"Well, now that I have my gun, I don't need to get inside the shed. I'm outta here." And with that, SUMIKO leaves. We get a nice bunch of views of the defeated henchwomen.
THE END?
EDIT - I just edited the script to include a henchwoman being thrown into a garbage can.
Last edited by a moderator:
Regarding Eliza, I was trying to do my own custom with SK recently, starring Eliza, but he told me she would be unavailable for the next few months. SK will probably be back to see this thread and maybe he will let you guys know who is available and who isn't. Just wanted to give the heads up on that.
Minion
Master of this Domain
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2012
I like the script, good scenario including a lot interesting features. I think it could be shot in a 15min clip
Some recommendations;
Costumes may need to be simplified, the estimates SK gave me did not include additional things like special costumes. Material wise I like skintight, preferably like a leotard or unitard (not leather catsuits)
If each girl needs black boots, could become expensive
I personally would prefer a henchwoman to be thrown into a trashcan (or something) and remain in it (not fall over).
Some recommendations;
Costumes may need to be simplified, the estimates SK gave me did not include additional things like special costumes. Material wise I like skintight, preferably like a leotard or unitard (not leather catsuits)
If each girl needs black boots, could become expensive
I personally would prefer a henchwoman to be thrown into a trashcan (or something) and remain in it (not fall over).
Stuelpner_Karl
Swell Supporter
- Joined
- Jan 7, 2013
I must say that the draft isn't really what I had in mind.
I don't want to sound negative, but there are several issues:
1st: The cast
Sumiko would make a great heroine in my opinion too.
But I think the number of contributors won't be that big, so each should have the right to pick one henchwoman. My pick would be none of the suggested, who are all a bit too skinny for my taste. I'd rather see a bigger, stronger henchwoman. From the regular SKW roster, Cameron is may favorite.
2nd: The plot
Sumiko is good, the others are evil. But we see her invade their house with a gun. Somebody tells us that they are evil, trying to take over the world. But Sumiko is working for a rather shady entity named "US government", I wouldn't trust her either.
Instead, they should be presented as clearly evil by what they do. Let them invade Sumiko's house, steal a computer device (what's on it isn't really important) and try to torture Sumiko to get access.
3rd: Uniform vs plainclothes
The way it's presented, with just one short fight without wearing the uniform (and even then, they carry it in shopping bags and talk about it) it looks like a mere alibi to me.
Not only should the non-uniformed part be a bit longer, the point isn't just to see them in different clothes, it's to present them as individuals. So I think the shopping, or whatever they do, shouldn't be related to their henchwork.
4th: The fights
It may be better to tell Sleeperkid and the girls what moves we want to see, what reactions, body positions etc., but give them freedom to place these actions in the various fights at their own gusto. Generally I prefer longer, more physical fights, not just quick knock outs.
5th: The end
At some point earlier, the bad girls may say that they desperately need to defeat Sumiko, or they're in deep trouble - facing either a harsh punishment by their superiors or a lenghty prison term. Later, to make clear that the final fight is really the end, Sumiko informs somebody that "some disposables are waiting for disposal."
So, my idea of contributing is that I name a henchwoman (like Cameron), decide what she is wearing in the early part and pick some moves she is giving and taking, reactions etc. To make her fit into my favorite baddie pattern (evil by trade, likeable in private), I would let her use a cellphone once or twice, organizing her home life between the battles.
I don't want to sound negative, but there are several issues:
1st: The cast
Sumiko would make a great heroine in my opinion too.
But I think the number of contributors won't be that big, so each should have the right to pick one henchwoman. My pick would be none of the suggested, who are all a bit too skinny for my taste. I'd rather see a bigger, stronger henchwoman. From the regular SKW roster, Cameron is may favorite.
2nd: The plot
Sumiko is good, the others are evil. But we see her invade their house with a gun. Somebody tells us that they are evil, trying to take over the world. But Sumiko is working for a rather shady entity named "US government", I wouldn't trust her either.
Instead, they should be presented as clearly evil by what they do. Let them invade Sumiko's house, steal a computer device (what's on it isn't really important) and try to torture Sumiko to get access.
3rd: Uniform vs plainclothes
The way it's presented, with just one short fight without wearing the uniform (and even then, they carry it in shopping bags and talk about it) it looks like a mere alibi to me.
Not only should the non-uniformed part be a bit longer, the point isn't just to see them in different clothes, it's to present them as individuals. So I think the shopping, or whatever they do, shouldn't be related to their henchwork.
4th: The fights
It may be better to tell Sleeperkid and the girls what moves we want to see, what reactions, body positions etc., but give them freedom to place these actions in the various fights at their own gusto. Generally I prefer longer, more physical fights, not just quick knock outs.
5th: The end
At some point earlier, the bad girls may say that they desperately need to defeat Sumiko, or they're in deep trouble - facing either a harsh punishment by their superiors or a lenghty prison term. Later, to make clear that the final fight is really the end, Sumiko informs somebody that "some disposables are waiting for disposal."
So, my idea of contributing is that I name a henchwoman (like Cameron), decide what she is wearing in the early part and pick some moves she is giving and taking, reactions etc. To make her fit into my favorite baddie pattern (evil by trade, likeable in private), I would let her use a cellphone once or twice, organizing her home life between the battles.
MacabeNova
Casual Client
- Joined
- Nov 25, 2012
This is gonna be such a mess...
horatiojones80
Content Creator
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2011
I'd love to see Danger as a henchwoman. She is such an amazon.
and it'd be great to have the heroine take her out and search her for something while she's out, perhaps a key or something. kinda like this.
and it'd be great to have the heroine take her out and search her for something while she's out, perhaps a key or something. kinda like this.
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