ATRLs Dialogues: Feb 14th, 2015 - All Attachments Should Be Correct... (2 Viewers)

[AaRL]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow

Alright, lets see what we can catch with Word.

Spoiler

Typo on Line 3
Line 3: -A complicated relationship years in the making has yet another twist in the road. Wedding day bliss has turned dark as the late husband is now laid to rest. Though instead of being upset at what has happened... a sense of relief has over come her as she now can pursue what she has wanted all along... And she is more than willing to make up for lost time!
hmm that doesn't really help you now does it
Snippets, then.
"a sense of relief has over come her" -> "a sense of relief has overcome her"

Typo on Line 9
-This is continuation of a previous dailogue of mine, 'The Final Blow'
"dailogue" -> "dialogue"

Typo on Line 14
-To make this dialogue 'more real', I suggest using every thing below
"every thing" -> "everything"

Typo? on line 33
-Slingerbuilt http://www.sdtmods.com/index.php?topic=2915.0
Shouldn't it be Slingerbult

On to the dialogue, still using Word

Spoiler

Typo on line 202
pre_cum:"[NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]Guess all my hard work is about to pay off. [LOOK_UP][BLINK]Let's not dissappoint him!"{"style":"Thought"}
"dissappoint" -> "disappoint"

Word repetition on line 215
cum_in_mouth:"[NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][RELEASE]Mmm.... ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][BLINK]why would I I ever turn this down?"
"would I I ever" -> "would I ever"

Now, lets see what I can catch by reading the dialogue on my own.

Spoiler

Missing space between sentences on Line 50
Line 50: intro3:"Heh! ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][BLINK]Money?ББББББББББYou married him for his money?! [SHOCK][ANGRY_MOOD]ББББББББББ[TAP_HANDS]H-hey! [CLENCH_TEETH]Don't get mad at me now![intro4]"{"style":"Him"}
Output: "Heh! Money?You married him for his money?! (...)"

Writing style mismatch.
Line 107: resistance:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]O--[COUGH][ADD_TEARS]oh don't mind that. I'm really enjoying this!"
Line 108: resistance:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]S--[COUGH][ADD_TEARS]Sorry! [LOOK_UP][BLINK]A girl's got to breathe still, you know?"
These, and lines 109, 110, 111
Follow a pattern of "O--oh", "S--Sorry", "W--wow", "H--heh" and "H--heh" again.
Sorry (line 108) looks like an odd one out.
Or maybe I'm just trying too hard here.

Line 108: resistance:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]S--[COUGH][ADD_TEARS]Sorry! [LOOK_UP][BLINK]A girl's got to breathe still, you know?"
"A girl's got to breathe still"
I'm not sure whether this is accepted grammar - maybe shuffle the words differently.
I think if you take the literal interpretation right now, she's talking about breathing without moving?
You can even move into the TOO SOON category here and reference her dead husband in some way - "an alive girl has to breathe, you know?" or some variant of that.

Line 110: resistance:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]H--[COUGH][ADD_TEARS]heh. Don't worry. [LOOK_UP][BLINK]It's not like I have to keep the noise down this time around."
I think it's "like we have to keep the noise down". I don't have any experience, but I imagine the guy not taking this silently...

Missing sentence ending on line 152.
Line 152: first_throat:"[SHOCK][FACE_FUCK_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]Mmm... ББББББББББI know [SHOCK]THIS feeling. [LOOK_UP][BLINK]He [SHOCK]DOES belong in me"{"style":"Thought"}
I ought to implement this in the checker... good idea for v2, yes?

Line 177: wake:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][NORMAL_MOOD][SHOCK]WO--[SWALLOW]Woah! [LOOK_UP][BLINK]You can't keep me down till I pass out alright? ББББББББББ[TAP_HANDS]I don't like that."
Commas are important ("We're eating Grandma" vs "We're eating, Grandma")
Take a look at this sentence:
"You can't keep me down till I pass out alright?"
It means "It is impossible for you to keep me down until I pass out properly."
Now "can't" means "shouldn't" here, so you get "It is not advisable for you to keep me down until I pass out properly."
If we add a comma to split "alright" away from the passing out ("You can't keep me down till I pass out, alright?"), you get "It is not advisable for you to keep me down until I pass out, do you understand that?"

Line 178: wake:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][ANGRY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]I--[SWALLOW]I thought I told [LOOK_UP][BLINK]you that [SHOCK][TAP_HANDS]DON'T like that feeling! [NORMAL_MOOD]Anything else, yeah... ББББББББББbut [SHOCK]NOT that!"
Output: "I--I thought I told you that DON'T like that feeling! Anything else, yeah... but NOT that!"
"that DON'T like" -> "that I DON'T like"

Line 186: vigorous:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]H--[COUGH][BLINK]hey! [LOOK_UP][BLINK]Like I said, [SWALLOW]you've got to give a girl a chance to breathe OK?"
Meet the comma again.
"Like I said, you've got to give a girl a chance to breathe OK?"
= "As I have told you earlier, you need to give a girl (me) an opportunity to breathe properly? Maybe?"
The question mark suddenly applies to the whole sentence due to a missing comma, and the question mark becomes strange.
It's not a question anymore.
Adding a comma however, "Like I said, you've got to give a girl a chance to breathe, OK?"
Allows the question mark to apply to the "OK" section only. Which is a confirmation of understanding (what you probably intended "OK?" to mean).
You'll probably see me getting this wrong at times as well. Commas and word order can be hard to get perfectly right.

Line 206: cum_on_face:"[CLOSE_EYES][NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS]Mmm... [RELEASE]ББББББББББI can see why you wanted to do this so much... [LOOK_UP][OPEN_EYES]because it makes me even feel good!"
Word order.
"it makes me even feel good!" = "Normally this would not make me feel good but now it does"
even is a word of emphasis.
In the original, there's emphasis on "feel good" - which is not really wrong and quite a natural thing to do...
but I don't think that's what you're going for, given the situation. BJ ejaculations can be a tad one-sided pleasure, so the emphasis should be on her - It's so awesome, it even makes her feel good!
So yeah - "because it makes me even feel good!" -> "because it even makes me feel good!"

Line 228: cum_in_throat:"[NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][RELEASE]Mmm... ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][BLINK]your seed flowing into my body... ББББББББББand right into my Heart!"
"Heart" is capitalized here (and in Line 229 as well).
Any special reason?

Line 239: finish1:"[NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_LEGS][RELEASE]Well... ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][BLINK]I'd say [SHOCK]THAT was defiantly worth it! Though... ББББББББББ[NORMAL_MOOD][LOOK_DOWN][BLINK]you think maybe now I should go pay my respects?[fin1]"
Oh I love them like this.
When spellcheckers can't find the mistake because things are technically correct, but in any other way...
I'll save you the lengthy explanation of why this one is wrong, though.
"I'd say [SHOCK]THAT was defiantly worth it!" -> "I'd say [SHOCK]THAT was definitely worth it!"

Line 243: finish2:"[NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_LEGS][RELEASE]Well that intense. [LOOK_UP][BLINK]You know... ББББББББББББББББББББI was thinking... [fin2]"
"Well that intense." -> EITHER "Well that was intense." OR "Well, that was intense."

Line 249: fo1:"Yeah... ББББББББББmaybe it is time to go at least to put up the front. At least the ending now will be better... no?[fo2]"{"style":"Him"}
"maybe it is time to go at least to put up the front"
Wait, what?
"maybe it is time to go" - I get that...
"at least to put up the front" = "to keep up appearance" (but you can't use it like that), I get that too...
It's not a very smooth sentence.
First off... let's see... it needs a comma.
"maybe it is time to go, at least to put up the front"
There, action and reason split. It needs further cleaning, but I don't really know how.

Line 248: finishOther:"[NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][RELEASE]Wow... ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][BLINK]I've lost count... I--[SWALLOW]I don't think I could handle another drop.[fo1]"
Line 249: fo1:"Yeah... ББББББББББmaybe it is time to go at least to put up the front. At least the ending now will be better... no?[fo2]"{"style":"Him"}
Line 250: fo2:"Well... [LOOK_UP][BLINK]this moment with you has made me see now [SHOCK]WHO I belong with it. [ARMS_HIS_LEGS][fo3]"
Line 248 triggers "[ARMS_HIS_LEGS]", then leads to Line 249. Line 249 doesn't do anything with the arms, then leads to Line 250.
Line 250 has "[ARMS_HIS_LEGS]" again. It's a duplicate - not necessary.

And...

Line 252: fo4:"Yes... [ADD_TEARS][BLINK]I... ББББББББББlove... ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][SHOCK]YOU![fo5]"
Line 252 does it again.

Line 250: fo2:"Well... [LOOK_UP][BLINK]this moment with you has made me see now [SHOCK]WHO I belong with it. [ARMS_HIS_LEGS][fo3]"
"this moment with you has made me see now WHO I belong with it."
What happened here?
"this moment with you has made me see" is a good bit, lets keep that.
"WHO I belong with" is perfectly usable as well.
I think you can scrap the it, and move the time definition to the back. Like so...
"this moment with you has made me see WHO I belong with now."
It gives a different meaning though - like a marriage proposal, almost.
But wait! The next line from here is "Yes, I love you!" - so that fits perfectly.
It wasn't possible to get that from the line before...

And done!
I haven't played this yet in SDT - might do so later.
But it definitely looks like you got distracted near the finishes... Was it a bit difficult to write or come up with the ending you wanted?

EDIT:
Whoops, I forgot one I spotted during using Word, but I felt it belonged in the without Word (because Word didn't spot it, only I did)... but then I forgot about it.

Line 241: fin1a:"... ББББББББББheh! [LOOK_UP][BLINK][ARMS_HIS_LEGS]I guess you're right. Well then... ББББББББББ[HOLD]where were we?... ББББББББББ[HOLD]ББББББББББ[FACE_FUCK_STYLE]Mmm, that's right"
Missing sentence ending.

Well... um... FUCK. I see what you mean and Ive spotted the real problem (besides my ongoing "speeling" /grammar mistakes). I have two hard drives on my computer and it seems Ive uploaded the one that wasn't updated at all since yesterday. When I returned to work on the dialogue this morning, I had saved it as normal while working on it, but only on the C Drive. Upon completion, I went to upload it from the D Drive, (the unrevised version from yesterday) hence the insane amount of errors and missing of lines.

Spoiler

EDIT: WELL FUCK SOME MORE! The one I was working, the correct one, is just GONE off my HDDs so the only one I have now is the fucked up one here. Much much much work to be done...

As for the spelling... The online spell checker (dont have WORD on this PC) I use doesn't separate those Б symbols from a word so it reads it as one word. So if that word is spelled wrong or right after the Б, it gets flagged regardless. I just tend to skip those as a habit. I could put some kind of marker there I guess, like X, where I want to insert the Б symbol to pause. And other words, I get side tracked and type faster than my brain can keep up. Hence the weird missing word or wrong word in a sentence. Amazing what ONE word can do to a sentence!

As for the grammar... Shockingly, I'm horrible at it as are many others. I don't write these to win a grammar/spelling competition. Still some are well below the standard I set for even myself. Thanks for taking the time to correct them. Maybe you should consider adding that your checker...

Cool! I have to try this new Widow dialog.

Might want to hold off on that until I can get the CORRECT one up... Give me an hour or two.

FINAL EDIT: Uploaded corrected version. (Maybe) All is right with this one. Added a few more lines and reread it. Hopefully this one inst too bad...

 

[Pim_gd]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow

As for the spelling... The online spell checker (dont have WORD on this PC) I use doesn't separate those Б symbols from a word so it reads it as one word. So if that word is spelled wrong or right after the Б, it gets flagged regardless. I just tend to skip those as a habit. I could put some kind of marker there I guess, like X, where I want to insert the Б symbol to pause. And other words, I get side tracked and type faster than my brain can keep up. Hence the weird missing word or wrong word in a sentence. Amazing what ONE word can do to a sentence!

Word doesn't separate them either.

As for the grammar... Shockingly, I'm horrible at it as are many others. I don't write these to win a grammar/spelling competition. Still some are well below the standard I set for even myself. Thanks for taking the time to correct them. Maybe you should consider adding that your checker...

I was referring to the "missing sentence ending" - I can't implement word order checks because, well, I don't know how to get my checker to fully comprehend English.

And checked v1.1.

Spoiler

Line 108: resistance:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]S--[COUGH][ADD_TEARS]sorry! [LOOK_UP][BLINK]A girl's got to still breathe, you know?"
I meant "A girl still has got to breathe", but that's my fault for not providing a fixed version.

Line 150: first_throat:"[SHOCK][FACE_FUCK_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]W--[SWALLOW]well. [LOOK_UP][BLINK]Glad to see your enjoying yourself... ББББББББББI wouldn't have it any other way."
"Glad to see your enjoying yourself" -> "Glad to see you're enjoying yourself"

Line 215: cum_on_face:"[CLOSE_EYES][NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS]Mmm... [RELEASE]ББББББББББto tell you the truth. I'd much rather it in my mouth next time. [OPEN_EYES][LOOK_UP]It's been quite a while since I last tasted you."
"I'd much rather it in my mouth" -> EITHER "I'd much rather have it in my mouth" OR "I'd much rather get it in my mouth"

Line 246: cum_in_throat:"[NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][RELEASE]Mmm... ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][BLINK]next time I want to taste it on my tongue... ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][BLINK]and look into your eyes I swallow you."
"look into your eyes I swallow you" -> "look into your eyes as I swallow you"

Line 258: finish1:"[NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_LEGS][RELEASE]Well... ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][BLINK]I'll say [SHOCK]THAT was defiantly worth it! Though... ББББББББББ[NORMAL_MOOD][LOOK_DOWN][BLINK]you think maybe now I should go pay my respects?[fin1]"
COPY... PASTE
Oh I love them like this.
When spellcheckers can't find the mistake because things are technically correct, but in any other way...
I'll save you the lengthy explanation of why this one is wrong, though.
"I'll say [SHOCK]THAT was defiantly worth it!" -> "I'll say [SHOCK]THAT was definitely worth it!"

Line 269: fo1:"Yeah... ББББББББББmaybe it is time to go. You know, to keep up this 'front' that I'll actually miss him. ББББББББББThought, at least this ending now will be better... no?[fo2]"{"style":"Him"}
Good fix on the rewording of "put up the front".
Oh and uh
Typo. "Thought, at least" -> EITHER "Though, at least" OR "Although, at least"

Line 276: fo6:"Mmm... ББББББББББall I cant think about now... [CLENCH_TEETH]ББББББББББis his seed following in me... [LOOK_UP][BLINK][CLENCH_TEETH]ББББББББББI want to have [SHOCK]HIS baby...ББББББББББ[fo5]"{"style":"Thought"}
Line 277: fo6:"Mmm... ББББББББББall I cant think about now... [CLENCH_TEETH]ББББББББББis his seed following in me... [LOOK_UP][BLINK][CLENCH_TEETH]ББББББББББI want to have [SHOCK]HIS baby...ББББББББББ[fo6]"{"style":"Thought"}
Here's your sentence:
"Mmm... all I cant think about now... is his seed following in me... I want to have HIS baby..."
"all I cant think about" -> "all I can think about", "his seed following in me" -> "his seed flowing in me"

I didn't read the whole dialogue though - all I did was throw v1.0 and v1.1 into http://www.textdiff.com/, then look at the colored bits.

 

[AaRL]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

As for the spelling... The online spell checker (dont have WORD on this PC) I use doesn't separate those Б symbols from a word so it reads it as one word. So if that word is spelled wrong or right after the Б, it gets flagged regardless. I just tend to skip those as a habit. I could put some kind of marker there I guess, like X, where I want to insert the Б symbol to pause. And other words, I get side tracked and type faster than my brain can keep up. Hence the weird missing word or wrong word in a sentence. Amazing what ONE word can do to a sentence!

Word doesn't separate them either.

As for the grammar... Shockingly, I'm horrible at it as are many others. I don't write these to win a grammar/spelling competition. Still some are well below the standard I set for even myself. Thanks for taking the time to correct them. Maybe you should consider adding that your checker...

I was referring to the "missing sentence ending" - I can't implement word order checks because, well, I don't know how to get my checker to fully comprehend English.

And checked v1.1.

Spoiler

Line 108: resistance:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]S--[COUGH][ADD_TEARS]sorry! [LOOK_UP][BLINK]A girl's got to still breathe, you know?"
I meant "A girl still has got to breathe", but that's my fault for not providing a fixed version.

Line 150: first_throat:"[SHOCK][FACE_FUCK_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]W--[SWALLOW]well. [LOOK_UP][BLINK]Glad to see your enjoying yourself... ББББББББББI wouldn't have it any other way."
"Glad to see your enjoying yourself" -> "Glad to see you're enjoying yourself"

Line 215: cum_on_face:"[CLOSE_EYES][NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS]Mmm... [RELEASE]ББББББББББto tell you the truth. I'd much rather it in my mouth next time. [OPEN_EYES][LOOK_UP]It's been quite a while since I last tasted you."
"I'd much rather it in my mouth" -> EITHER "I'd much rather have it in my mouth" OR "I'd much rather get it in my mouth"

Line 246: cum_in_throat:"[NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][RELEASE]Mmm... ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][BLINK]next time I want to taste it on my tongue... ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][BLINK]and look into your eyes I swallow you."
"look into your eyes I swallow you" -> "look into your eyes as I swallow you"

Line 258: finish1:"[NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_LEGS][RELEASE]Well... ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][BLINK]I'll say [SHOCK]THAT was defiantly worth it! Though... ББББББББББ[NORMAL_MOOD][LOOK_DOWN][BLINK]you think maybe now I should go pay my respects?[fin1]"
COPY... PASTE
Oh I love them like this.
When spellcheckers can't find the mistake because things are technically correct, but in any other way...
I'll save you the lengthy explanation of why this one is wrong, though.
"I'll say [SHOCK]THAT was defiantly worth it!" -> "I'll say [SHOCK]THAT was definitely worth it!"

Line 269: fo1:"Yeah... ББББББББББmaybe it is time to go. You know, to keep up this 'front' that I'll actually miss him. ББББББББББThought, at least this ending now will be better... no?[fo2]"{"style":"Him"}
Good fix on the rewording of "put up the front".
Oh and uh
Typo. "Thought, at least" -> EITHER "Though, at least" OR "Although, at least"

Line 276: fo6:"Mmm... ББББББББББall I cant think about now... [CLENCH_TEETH]ББББББББББis his seed following in me... [LOOK_UP][BLINK][CLENCH_TEETH]ББББББББББI want to have [SHOCK]HIS baby...ББББББББББ[fo5]"{"style":"Thought"}
Line 277: fo6:"Mmm... ББББББББББall I cant think about now... [CLENCH_TEETH]ББББББББББis his seed following in me... [LOOK_UP][BLINK][CLENCH_TEETH]ББББББББББI want to have [SHOCK]HIS baby...ББББББББББ[fo6]"{"style":"Thought"}
Here's your sentence:
"Mmm... all I cant think about now... is his seed following in me... I want to have HIS baby..."
"all I cant think about" -> "all I can think about", "his seed following in me" -> "his seed flowing in me"

I didn't read the whole dialogue though - all I did was throw v1.0 and v1.1 into http://www.textdiff.com/, then look at the colored bits.

Thanks. Re uploaded it with your corrections and changed/added nothing else. I'm just done for today...

 

[zzaapp002]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

Nice work on the Widow and GF Older Sis dialogue!

 

[Bluey5]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

Help me man, the intro's keep playing over and over instead of general dialogue. It might be my fault or yours, but all I know is that it is annoying.

 

[Pim_gd]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

Achieve deepthroat to get general lines to play.

 

[Bluey5]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

Well I know that much. I just wish there was a way to make the dialogue not play... because the general still plays, but the dialogue plays as well.

 

[Pim_gd]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

Well I know that much. I just wish there was a way to make the dialogue not play... because the general still plays, but the dialogue plays as well.

I don't even

I don't understand what you're saying. Mind rephrasing?

 

[Bluey5]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

Er um...ignore that.

What I meant to say was:

The INTRO still plays WITH the GENERAL DIALOGUE. I wish there was a way to make the INTRO not play anymore...

Sorry about that...

 

[Pim_gd]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

Er um...ignore that.

What I meant to say was:

The INTRO still plays WITH the GENERAL DIALOGUE. I wish there was a way to make the INTRO not play anymore...

Sorry about that...

You mean both intro lines and general lines get triggered in one playthrough? One after another or at the same time?

 

[zzaapp002]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

What is...."Tinkerboob"?

I have a feeling I may like it!

 

[AaRL]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

Er um...ignore that.

What I meant to say was:

The INTRO still plays WITH the GENERAL DIALOGUE. I wish there was a way to make the INTRO not play anymore...

Sorry about that...

"""""-Features a bit of progressive dialogue in the Intro
--If you want to bypass the Progressive Intro, just start 'going' at anytime and it should go to the other triggers or just put a " - " in front of the intro lines by using the editor"""""

That note is in ALL my dialogues. Intro plays on initial loading/before an action takes place in game and that's it. If you reload the same dialogue, it will play again.

What is...."Tinkerboob"?

I have a feeling I may like it!

...blame Dante. ...soon...

 

[Bluey5]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

"""""-Features a bit of progressive dialogue in the Intro
--If you want to bypass the Progressive Intro, just start 'going' at anytime and it should go to the other triggers or just put a " - " in front of the intro lines by using the editor"""""

That note is in ALL my dialogues. Intro plays on initial loading/before an action takes place in game and that's it. If you reload the same dialogue, it will play again.

Well...I kind of thought that I could stop the intro from playing all-together, but after the intro is done that's what I'll do with your intros for now on. They are pretty well written by the way! Keep up the awesome work! But with the heaven and hell like game intro, it doesn't continue due to it checking if he should be holding her head, and he was so it never finished. I fixed that myself though.

 

[dantethedarkprince]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

...blame Dante. ...soon...

Yep totally my fault ::)

 

[AaRL]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

"""""-Features a bit of progressive dialogue in the Intro
--If you want to bypass the Progressive Intro, just start 'going' at anytime and it should go to the other triggers or just put a " - " in front of the intro lines by using the editor"""""

That note is in ALL my dialogues. Intro plays on initial loading/before an action takes place in game and that's it. If you reload the same dialogue, it will play again.

Well...I kind of thought that I could stop the intro from playing all-together, but after the intro is done that's what I'll do with your intros for now on. They are pretty well written by the way! Keep up the awesome work! But with the heaven and hell like game intro, it doesn't continue due to it checking if he should be holding her head, and he was so it never finished. I fixed that myself though.

Can you post here or PM the corrections you made so I can correct the problem on the copies I have?

...blame Dante. ...soon...

Yep totally my fault ::)

Yes, but in a good way

 

[Bluey5]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

Can you post here or PM the corrections you made so I can correct the problem on the copies I have?

Here ya go!

I didn't know what to name it so I put fixed. Name it as you wish, all it is is just making the intro work.

Also, I can't seem to get Marle's hair...

 

[AaRL]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

Alright, thanks. Ill take a look at it later to see what was corrected against the original. I plan on reuping ALL my work again sometime in October to reflect all corrections and added goodies. Hopefully Ill have my two current projects done by then. Who knows, but at least one for sure. Going to be a long month as Im up to 6/7 days a week now at work.

As for all my old dialogues themselves, Im going to karma the hell out of Pim_gd to use his grammar skills on my dialogues...

Nice current avatar by the way. Tricky Triangle... heh! And thanks for the support

 

[Pim_gd]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

Changes I'm seeing:
-intro11:”You’re right. [LOOK_UP][BLINK]I have heard this before. [ANGRY_MOOD][ARMS_LEGS][HOLD]ББББББББББDon’t get all mad now. [CLENCH_TEETH]I’ve encountered too many ‘Fallen Angels’ that have claimed this ‘wonderful’ trait. [NORMAL_MOOD]Now, last chance. [SHOCK][BLINK]What makes you [LOOK_UP][BLINK]different from all the others that have knelt before me?[intro12]“{”held”:”false”,”style”:”Him”}
+intro11:”You’re right. [LOOK_UP][BLINK]I have heard this before. [ANGRY_MOOD][ARMS_LEGS]ББББББББББDon’t get all mad now. [CLENCH_TEETH]I’ve encountered too many ‘Fallen Angels’ that have claimed this ‘wonderful’ trait. [NORMAL_MOOD]Now, last chance. [SHOCK][BLINK]What makes you [LOOK_UP][BLINK]different from all the others that have knelt before me?[intro12]“{”held”:”false”,”style”:”Him”}

-hg0:”Nah… [NORMAL_STYLE][NORMAL_MOOD][ARMS_LEGS]you aren’t cutting it! [SHOCK][LOOK_UP]I’ve had plenty better. [ANGRY_MOOD]Sorry to say![bad_end]“{”style”:”Him”}
+hg0:”Nah… [NORMAL_STYLE][NORMAL_MOOD][ARMS_LEGS]you aren’t cutting it! [SHOCK][LOOK_UP]I’ve had plenty better. [ANGRY_MOOD]Sorry to say![RELEASE][bad_end]“{”style”:”Him”}

Courtesy of textdiff.com
How does this fix the intro?

EDIT:
Looked at it a bit harder:
Intro12 has no [RELEASE]/[HOLD]
Intro13 has {"held":"false","style":"Him"}
So if Intro11 has [HOLD] then intro breaks. I suggest putting [RELEASE] in intro12.
I have no idea what the hg0 fix is for.

 

[Bluey5]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

I don't think I did anything to Hg0...probably accidental. But in the intro it checks if he is holding her so it doesn't continue because he does. All I did was get rid of him holding her in that line so the intro could finish. Oh and thanks AaRL, not problem!

Also, sorry if I am coming off as a jerk here, but I didn't like the Rikku one. I didn't because although her hair is from Final Fantasy X, her outfit is from Final Fantasy X-2 AND you didn't include any lines form X-2... I just thought that was a little weird so I didn't use that one.

 

[AaRL]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow (Final Edit)

I don't think I did anything to Hg0...probably accidental. But in the intro it checks if he is holding her so it doesn't continue because he does. All I did was get rid of him holding her in that line so the intro could finish. Oh and thanks AaRL, not problem!

Also, sorry if I am coming off as a jerk here, but I didn't like the Rikku one. I didn't because although her hair is from Final Fantasy X, her outfit is from Final Fantasy X-2 AND you didn't include any lines form X-2... I just thought that was a little weird so I didn't use that one.

Well, the outfit I have is this one:

Spoiler

charName:RikkuRuins;mood:Happy;bodyScale:0.965;arms:onhislegs,onhislegs;throatResist:40;hair:sdchan,1,1;iris:swirl,23,90,153,1;breasts:45;skin:tan;nose:normal;ear:normal;lipstick:0,0,0,0,0;eyeshadow:0,0,0,0.251;sclera:255,255,255,1;blush:196,80,77,0.392;freckles:0,0,0,0,0;mascara:0,0,0,0.502,20;nailpolish:0,0,0,0;eyebrow:lines,89,67,51,1,0,0,0,1;hairhsl:0,1.25,1,1;skinhsl:0,1.4,0.95,1.05;hisskinhsl:0,1,1,1;bg:3;hisBody:male;hisPenis:0,1,1;balls:1,1;hisSkin:0;hisTop:shirt,191,191,64,1;hisBottoms:slacks,27,29,29,1;hisFootwear:loafers,0,0,0,1;collar:leather,200,25,25,1,0,0,0,1;cuffs:none,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1;gag:none,0,0,0,1;panties:highleg,225,225,25,1;top:bikini,225,225,25,1;armwear:wristglove,225,225,25,1;bottoms:jeanshorts,175,175,50,1,0,0,0,1;legwear:none,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0;footwear:none,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1;eyewear:none,0,0,0,1;headwear:none,0,0,0,1,0,0,0,1;tonguePiercing:none,0,0,0,1;herTan:full,0.25;customHair:Rikku.png;customBG:RikkuRuins.jpg

I know Dante made her FFX2 outfit as well and it could go with this but I understand your concern. From the notes, I made this dialogue back on Dec 27, 2011 long before the Day Of Dante and other wonderful modders we have now. I stated I only used FFX quotes and all. Read the very top of the dialogue in notepad for the scenario description.

Spoiler

-The night before the final battle with Sin... and ending the dream of The Fayth. You return to the place you once called home, Zanarkand, to be alone in thought. Though 1000 years later and in ruin, its all you have left. Standing in silence away from the group, you are startled by Rikku, who followed you in secret. She convinces you to 'release' your troubled mind on her. She feels that it is her place, not Yunas, to make you feel good one last time...

I tried to keep true to her FFX outfit though the code above in the second one. I revamped my stuff, all of it, over the summer to bring every thing up to the 1.21.1 codes and triggers and such. I think her's was from 1.14 or around there. So pretty far back.

Still, thanks for the support and corrections for the Fallen Angel dialogue.

And regarding my hiatus, its going to be for about a month. Going to be a tough one as Im working 6/7 days a week this month. Ill still be around and all chat box and looking through the threads. Just not really writing anything dialogue wise actively until October...