ATRLs Dialogues: Feb 14th, 2015 - All Attachments Should Be Correct... (2 Viewers)

[Pim_gd]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: (Jul 11, 2013 - NEW (OLD) DIALOGUE - TIFA BEACH (RE)REMASTERED)

Examples.
We're gonna abuse Bob here - he'll be our man. Sadly, he won't see any action as we just need him for some lines.
Bob feels sad about this, but who cares.

intro:"Hi, *YOU*!"

will print

"Hi, Bob!"

Now, if we remove Bob here - Bob, get out of the room for a moment - then we'll get a different output:

"Hi, !"

And it looks like we have some grammatical screwup here.
So, how do we fix this? By adding things to the substitute.

intro:"Hi*, YOU*!"

Bob, get back in here. Right. So with Bob here, the output will be as follows:

"Hi, Bob!"

Which is as it should be. Now, when Bob leaves the room again - Bob, mind leaving the room again? No, don't ask why. Just leave for a moment. Okay. With Bob gone, we'll get the following output:

"Hi!"

Which doesn't have grammatical issues.

replace ", *YOU*," with ",* YOU,*"
" *YOU* " with " *YOU *"
" *YOU*{?!,.}" with "* YOU*{?!,.}"
and so on. Just imagine that YOU will be replaced with the player name if possible, and otherwise the entire substitute will be removed.

 

[AaRL]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: (Jul 11, 2013 - NEW (OLD) DIALOGUE - TIFA BEACH (RE)REMASTERED)

Oh... so you just move the * back a bit before the YOU sub and a comma and it will display correctly either way.

THANKS for that tip!

Still, all the user has to do is to actually do 2 seconds of work inputting a name damn it!

 

[Pim_gd]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: (Jul 11, 2013 - NEW (OLD) DIALOGUE - TIFA BEACH (RE)REMASTERED)

What if you feel uncomfortable putting your name in there?

 

[AaRL]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: (Jul 11, 2013 - NEW (OLD) DIALOGUE - TIFA BEACH (RE)REMASTERED)

What if you feel uncomfortable putting your name in there?

I never thought about that. I just assumed people would use made up names or pairings that go well with the girl. In Tifa's case, you could use Cloud. Darken HIMs skin and name him Barret. Or you could go Futa and name HIM Aerith or Yuffie. All to keep with in the FF7 Universe. Or you could just use Bob or something. ;) Never considered someone using their actual own name.

 

[AaRL]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 11, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - GFs Older Sister

Released a new dialouge. "Girlfriend's Older Sister".

Credit for idea goes to:
Xiobe http://www.sdtmods.com/index.php?topic=4174.0

I just took this idea and ran with it. Its a fairly large and complex dialogue with multiple endings. Hopefully all the bugs are worked out. Let me know. Enjoy this 20th release! :)

 

[Pim_gd]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 11, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - GFs Older Sister

Checked GFs Older Sister.

Line 72: "(...) to a minimum and and enjoy this already!(...)" - "and and" -> "and"
Line 85: "(...)Its clear that my little sister hasn't been treating him good." - "Its" -> "It's"
Line 98: "(...)I bet your dying to shove that thing in my mouth.(...)" - "your dying" -> "you're dying"
Line 122: "(...)'m fine.(...)" - "'m fine" -> "I'm fine"
Line 222: "(...)Isn't it self explanatory at this point?(...)" - "self explanatory" -> "self-explanatory"
Line 240: "(...)I kinda of like that." - "I kinda of like" -> EITHER "I kind of like" OR "I kinda like". You can't have both.
Line 242 & 245: "(...)He's treating my like a fuck toy.(...)" - "treating my like" -> EITHER "treating my throat like" OR "treating me like"
Line 330: "(...) your's to do what you want with!(...)" - "your's" -> "yours"
Line 361: "(...)We we're fighting about(...)" - "We we're" -> EITHER "We were" OR "We're"
Line 369, 370, 371: When using randomized story paths, consider splitting the lines and the system. That way you have only 1 line of text, the rest is coding.

Example:

Spoiler

general:"[general1]"
general1:"Hmm... what to do...[whattodo]"
whattodo:"[facefuck]"
whattodo:"[facefuck]"
whattodo:"[handjob]"
whattodo:"[handjob]"
whattodo:"[handjob]"
whattodo:"[blowjob]"
facefuck:"I know! I'm gonna let you fuck my face[FACE_FUCK_STYLE] hard today!"
handjob:"I know! I'll give you a handjob[LEFT_ARM_HAND_JOB] today, with both[RIGHT_ARM_HAND_JOB] hands!"
blowjob:"Hmm, how about I just suck you off like I always do? You like that the best, after all."

This isolates programming from content.
Makes it easier to maintain and read dialogues.

Line 388 & 402: "(...)Sounds like your in a [SHOCK]HEAP of shit!(...)" - "your" -> EITHER "you're" OR "you are"

Playtesting - I can't get the BG and mods to work via the character code, I had to take them out and manually relabel things to BG.png, as well as creating a Mods.txt

I think the final_end_loop lines lack proper pacing. She - is - like - this - telegram - person - who - can - only - think - one - word - at - a - time - and - that - is - really - strange.
However, the general lines at the start... DAMN. That's what you can achieve with proper pacing. The lines were fast yet not rushing along and it was nice to have her 'talk' whilst the action was going on. Actually... [strike]nice[/strike] it was guuuuuuuuuuuood.

 

[AaRL]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 11, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - GFs Older Sister

Thanks Pim_gd! For some reason, I always "fear" when you check my work. Like I'm being graded by an English teacher on a final... I've made the corrections for the said lines. (Ill re upload it in a bit) Even found ONE misspelling YOU missed. (I deserve a medal for that of some kind) Also changed the pacing in the "final loop" lines:

corrected "final_end_loop" lines below:

Spoiler

final_end_loop:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][AHEGAO_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]He's in total... ББББББББББcontrol of me...[final_end_loop]"{"style":"Thought"}
final_end_loop:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][AHEGAO_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]He's ripping my... ББББББББББthroat apart...[final_end_loop]"{"style":"Thought"}
final_end_loop:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][AHEGAO_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]He's treating me ББББББББББlike a fuck toy...[final_end_loop]"{"style":"Thought"}
final_end_loop:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][AHEGAO_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]There's no way... ББББББББББ 'm letting him... ББББББББББgo after this...[final_end_loop]"{"style":"Thought"}
final_end_loop:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][AHEGAO_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]There's no way... ББББББББББI'm letting him... ББББББББББever leave me...[final_end_loop]"{"style":"Thought"}
final_end_loop:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][AHEGAO_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]Yes MORE... ББББББББББI can take it.. ББББББББББgive it to ББББББББББME...[final_end_loop]"{"style":"Thought"}
final_end_loop:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][AHEGAO_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]I Бhaven't been... ББББББББББused like this... ББББББББББin quite some... ББББББББББ time...[final_end_loop]"{"style":"Thought"}
final_end_loop:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][AHEGAO_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]There's no way... ББББББББББmy little sister... ББББББББББcould please him... ББББББББББlike I can...[final_end_loop]"{"style":"Thought"}
final_end_loop:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][AHEGAO_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]There's no way... ББББББББББmy little sister... ББББББББББis getting him... ББББББББББhim back after... ББББББББББthis...[final_end_loop]"{"style":"Thought"}
final_end_loop:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][AHEGAO_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]Seeing the look... ББББББББББon her face... ББББББББББright now would... ББББББББББbe definitely... ББББББББББworth it...[final_end_loop]"{"style":"Thought"}
final_end_loop:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][AHEGAO_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]There's no way... ББББББББББmy little sister... ББББББББББwould or even could... ББББББББББdo the things... ББББББББББI can do for him...[final_end_loop]"{"style":"Thought"}

As for the background nad mods not working:
The only thing I can come up with is the file itself is named "Living Room 3" with spaces in it. So if you were to double click on the provided codes, It would only select a continuous batch of text until it reaches the end, or a space. In this case, the first space in the code is the space between "living" and "room" so you would miss the beginning or ending of the code depending on which side of the code you clicked on. I don't rename files that I use from other people. I keep them as is. To workaround this, just hold down left click at the start of whatever code you want and move it to the end of said code then releasing left click.

As for the "with purpose" multi typed same lines:
It really doesn't matter to me as I just typed out one line and just copy/paste it as many times I needed through out the dialogue. I know there are many other shortcuts I could take regarding the given codes too. Its just when i get into the flow things, I tend to forget and just keep writing. The only thing that would change is from a file size point, making it a bit smaller. Hardly noticeable. When I type out branching lines, I keep notes (deleted in released version) along the way to help me remember what leads to what and so forth.

AS ALWAYS... Thank you much for taking the time to review my work. Glad its up to your level of review...

 

[Pim_gd]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 12, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - GFs Older Sister

I'm happy to help, AaRL.
I've been having trouble finding a proper testset for my DialogueChecker. If I take a random dialogue it's usually filled with little things here and there and I can't trust the results. For all I know, the checker could be missing something or there could be a false positive in that list of 35 issues.

So that's why I took the latest (v1.25) of the checker and ran it over your dialogues again. I fixed what issues I found, and decided to stay the hell away from TifaBarRM.
I've attached the fixed dialogues to this post.

Now I can use your dialogues as a testset, which will hopefully mean less bugs in the checker and you'll have your old dialogues checked with every new iteration of the checker - which means I let you know when my testset has issues in it.

 

[AaRL]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 12, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - GFs Older Sister

Sigh... more errors. Let me check these out. Thanks. And what happened to v1.24. I just got 1.23 yesterday...

EDIT: Oh, that wasn't too bad. Only 8 errors... I was thinking you find a bunch of hidden errors or something. Did my others come up clean or are just a lost cause?

 

[Pim_gd]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 12, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - GFs Older Sister

Ahahaha.

v1.24 had a bug which caused false positives to show, and actual errors to be hidden. So I fixed it.
The rest came up clean, save for TifaBarRM. I didn't want to poke that one.

And now I have a testset I can use to prevent things like accidentally releasing checker updates with bugs in them.

 

[AaRL]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 12, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - GFs Older Sister

OK I just ran through TifaBeachRM. The only problem(s) is the *YOU sub with the spacing. We talked about that up top earlier in the thread. Should be easy enough to mass fix that. Ill get right on that and post it up as soon as I can.

And thanks for using my dialogues as a benchmark for your tester. Guess that makes me... The Standard? LOL

 

[One With The Shadows]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 12, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - GFs Older Sister

OK I just ran through TifaBeachRM. The only problem(s) is the *YOU sub with the spacing. We talked about that up top earlier in the thread. Should be easy enough to mass fix that. Ill get right on that and post it up as soon as I can.

And thanks for using my dialogues as a benchmark for your tester. Guess that makes me... The Standard? LOL

Well, yeah you are the standard. By the way, you're dialogues are great!

 

[AaRL]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 14, 2013 - Re-uploaded All Work And Corrected

OK Pim_gd, I ran though GFs Older Sister and found no errors with your latest checker (1.25). Re-uploaded the ones you corrected (thanks again)... and... corrected some earlier character codes... and... corrected the " *YOU* " spacing errors in TifaBeach ReRemastered too. That was only error (57 I think) that your checker found. Every thing lined up nicely... and now... WE REST!

OK I just ran through TifaBeachRM. The only problem(s) is the *YOU sub with the spacing. We talked about that up top earlier in the thread. Should be easy enough to mass fix that. Ill get right on that and post it up as soon as I can.

And thanks for using my dialogues as a benchmark for your tester. Guess that makes me... The Standard? LOL

Well, yeah you are the standard. By the way, you're dialogues are great!

Thanks

 

[zzaapp002]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 14, 2013 - Re-uploaded All Work And Corrected

Thanks AaRl!

Always good to make things even better!

 

[AaRL]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 14, 2013 - Re-uploaded All Work And Corrected

Thanks AaRl!

Always good to make things even better!

Thanks bud. I have three new ones I'm currently working on. All at various stages of development which are:
1. A Dark/Alternate Version of a character Ive already done
2. A sequelish/continuation of sorts of another character Ive done.
3. One word... Tinkerboob (Blame Dante)

 

[brtglr]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 14, 2013 - Re-uploaded All Work And Corrected

nice

 

[AaRL]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow

nice

Thanks for making your first official post in my thread.

Another dialogue has been posted. (Number 21) This is a continuation of sorts to 'The Final Blow'. You don't have to read that one per say but it will help with some of things talked about in this latest creation of mine.

Also, would like to welcome Slingerbuilt to the Dialogue Tech Class. Go check out his work over here:
http://www.sdtmods.com/index.php?topic=2915.0
http://www.sdtmods.com/index.php?topic=3562.0 (Dialogue Guide - NEW)

 

[Slingerbult]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow

Thanks for the welcome. Don't forget my One Dialogue also:
http://www.sdtmods.com/index.php?topic=3760.0

 

[Pim_gd]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow

Alright, lets see what we can catch with Word.

Spoiler

Typo on Line 3
Line 3: -A complicated relationship years in the making has yet another twist in the road. Wedding day bliss has turned dark as the late husband is now laid to rest. Though instead of being upset at what has happened... a sense of relief has over come her as she now can pursue what she has wanted all along... And she is more than willing to make up for lost time!
hmm that doesn't really help you now does it
Snippets, then.
"a sense of relief has over come her" -> "a sense of relief has overcome her"

Typo on Line 9
-This is continuation of a previous dailogue of mine, 'The Final Blow'
"dailogue" -> "dialogue"

Typo on Line 14
-To make this dialogue 'more real', I suggest using every thing below
"every thing" -> "everything"

Typo? on line 33
-Slingerbuilt http://www.sdtmods.com/index.php?topic=2915.0
Shouldn't it be Slingerbult

On to the dialogue, still using Word

Spoiler

Typo on line 202
pre_cum:"[NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]Guess all my hard work is about to pay off. [LOOK_UP][BLINK]Let's not dissappoint him!"{"style":"Thought"}
"dissappoint" -> "disappoint"

Word repetition on line 215
cum_in_mouth:"[NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][RELEASE]Mmm.... ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][BLINK]why would I I ever turn this down?"
"would I I ever" -> "would I ever"

Now, lets see what I can catch by reading the dialogue on my own.

Spoiler

Missing space between sentences on Line 50
Line 50: intro3:"Heh! ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][BLINK]Money?ББББББББББYou married him for his money?! [SHOCK][ANGRY_MOOD]ББББББББББ[TAP_HANDS]H-hey! [CLENCH_TEETH]Don't get mad at me now![intro4]"{"style":"Him"}
Output: "Heh! Money?You married him for his money?! (...)"

Writing style mismatch.
Line 107: resistance:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]O--[COUGH][ADD_TEARS]oh don't mind that. I'm really enjoying this!"
Line 108: resistance:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]S--[COUGH][ADD_TEARS]Sorry! [LOOK_UP][BLINK]A girl's got to breathe still, you know?"
These, and lines 109, 110, 111
Follow a pattern of "O--oh", "S--Sorry", "W--wow", "H--heh" and "H--heh" again.
Sorry (line 108) looks like an odd one out.
Or maybe I'm just trying too hard here.

Line 108: resistance:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]S--[COUGH][ADD_TEARS]Sorry! [LOOK_UP][BLINK]A girl's got to breathe still, you know?"
"A girl's got to breathe still"
I'm not sure whether this is accepted grammar - maybe shuffle the words differently.
I think if you take the literal interpretation right now, she's talking about breathing without moving?
You can even move into the TOO SOON category here and reference her dead husband in some way - "an alive girl has to breathe, you know?" or some variant of that.

Line 110: resistance:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]H--[COUGH][ADD_TEARS]heh. Don't worry. [LOOK_UP][BLINK]It's not like I have to keep the noise down this time around."
I think it's "like we have to keep the noise down". I don't have any experience, but I imagine the guy not taking this silently...

Missing sentence ending on line 152.
Line 152: first_throat:"[SHOCK][FACE_FUCK_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]Mmm... ББББББББББI know [SHOCK]THIS feeling. [LOOK_UP][BLINK]He [SHOCK]DOES belong in me"{"style":"Thought"}
I ought to implement this in the checker... good idea for v2, yes?

Line 177: wake:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][NORMAL_MOOD][SHOCK]WO--[SWALLOW]Woah! [LOOK_UP][BLINK]You can't keep me down till I pass out alright? ББББББББББ[TAP_HANDS]I don't like that."
Commas are important ("We're eating Grandma" vs "We're eating, Grandma")
Take a look at this sentence:
"You can't keep me down till I pass out alright?"
It means "It is impossible for you to keep me down until I pass out properly."
Now "can't" means "shouldn't" here, so you get "It is not advisable for you to keep me down until I pass out properly."
If we add a comma to split "alright" away from the passing out ("You can't keep me down till I pass out, alright?"), you get "It is not advisable for you to keep me down until I pass out, do you understand that?"

Line 178: wake:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][ANGRY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]I--[SWALLOW]I thought I told [LOOK_UP][BLINK]you that [SHOCK][TAP_HANDS]DON'T like that feeling! [NORMAL_MOOD]Anything else, yeah... ББББББББББbut [SHOCK]NOT that!"
Output: "I--I thought I told you that DON'T like that feeling! Anything else, yeah... but NOT that!"
"that DON'T like" -> "that I DON'T like"

Line 186: vigorous:"[FACE_FUCK_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][HOLD]H--[COUGH][BLINK]hey! [LOOK_UP][BLINK]Like I said, [SWALLOW]you've got to give a girl a chance to breathe OK?"
Meet the comma again.
"Like I said, you've got to give a girl a chance to breathe OK?"
= "As I have told you earlier, you need to give a girl (me) an opportunity to breathe properly? Maybe?"
The question mark suddenly applies to the whole sentence due to a missing comma, and the question mark becomes strange.
It's not a question anymore.
Adding a comma however, "Like I said, you've got to give a girl a chance to breathe, OK?"
Allows the question mark to apply to the "OK" section only. Which is a confirmation of understanding (what you probably intended "OK?" to mean).
You'll probably see me getting this wrong at times as well. Commas and word order can be hard to get perfectly right.

Line 206: cum_on_face:"[CLOSE_EYES][NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS]Mmm... [RELEASE]ББББББББББI can see why you wanted to do this so much... [LOOK_UP][OPEN_EYES]because it makes me even feel good!"
Word order.
"it makes me even feel good!" = "Normally this would not make me feel good but now it does"
even is a word of emphasis.
In the original, there's emphasis on "feel good" - which is not really wrong and quite a natural thing to do...
but I don't think that's what you're going for, given the situation. BJ ejaculations can be a tad one-sided pleasure, so the emphasis should be on her - It's so awesome, it even makes her feel good!
So yeah - "because it makes me even feel good!" -> "because it even makes me feel good!"

Line 228: cum_in_throat:"[NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][RELEASE]Mmm... ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][BLINK]your seed flowing into my body... ББББББББББand right into my Heart!"
"Heart" is capitalized here (and in Line 229 as well).
Any special reason?

Line 239: finish1:"[NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_LEGS][RELEASE]Well... ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][BLINK]I'd say [SHOCK]THAT was defiantly worth it! Though... ББББББББББ[NORMAL_MOOD][LOOK_DOWN][BLINK]you think maybe now I should go pay my respects?[fin1]"
Oh I love them like this.
When spellcheckers can't find the mistake because things are technically correct, but in any other way...
I'll save you the lengthy explanation of why this one is wrong, though.
"I'd say [SHOCK]THAT was defiantly worth it!" -> "I'd say [SHOCK]THAT was definitely worth it!"

Line 243: finish2:"[NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_LEGS][RELEASE]Well that intense. [LOOK_UP][BLINK]You know... ББББББББББББББББББББI was thinking... [fin2]"
"Well that intense." -> EITHER "Well that was intense." OR "Well, that was intense."

Line 249: fo1:"Yeah... ББББББББББmaybe it is time to go at least to put up the front. At least the ending now will be better... no?[fo2]"{"style":"Him"}
"maybe it is time to go at least to put up the front"
Wait, what?
"maybe it is time to go" - I get that...
"at least to put up the front" = "to keep up appearance" (but you can't use it like that), I get that too...
It's not a very smooth sentence.
First off... let's see... it needs a comma.
"maybe it is time to go, at least to put up the front"
There, action and reason split. It needs further cleaning, but I don't really know how.

Line 248: finishOther:"[NORMAL_STYLE][HAPPY_MOOD][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][RELEASE]Wow... ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][BLINK]I've lost count... I--[SWALLOW]I don't think I could handle another drop.[fo1]"
Line 249: fo1:"Yeah... ББББББББББmaybe it is time to go at least to put up the front. At least the ending now will be better... no?[fo2]"{"style":"Him"}
Line 250: fo2:"Well... [LOOK_UP][BLINK]this moment with you has made me see now [SHOCK]WHO I belong with it. [ARMS_HIS_LEGS][fo3]"
Line 248 triggers "[ARMS_HIS_LEGS]", then leads to Line 249. Line 249 doesn't do anything with the arms, then leads to Line 250.
Line 250 has "[ARMS_HIS_LEGS]" again. It's a duplicate - not necessary.

And...

Line 252: fo4:"Yes... [ADD_TEARS][BLINK]I... ББББББББББlove... ББББББББББ[LOOK_UP][ARMS_HIS_LEGS][SHOCK]YOU![fo5]"
Line 252 does it again.

Line 250: fo2:"Well... [LOOK_UP][BLINK]this moment with you has made me see now [SHOCK]WHO I belong with it. [ARMS_HIS_LEGS][fo3]"
"this moment with you has made me see now WHO I belong with it."
What happened here?
"this moment with you has made me see" is a good bit, lets keep that.
"WHO I belong with" is perfectly usable as well.
I think you can scrap the it, and move the time definition to the back. Like so...
"this moment with you has made me see WHO I belong with now."
It gives a different meaning though - like a marriage proposal, almost.
But wait! The next line from here is "Yes, I love you!" - so that fits perfectly.
It wasn't possible to get that from the line before...

And done!
I haven't played this yet in SDT - might do so later.
But it definitely looks like you got distracted near the finishes... Was it a bit difficult to write or come up with the ending you wanted?

EDIT:
Whoops, I forgot one I spotted during using Word, but I felt it belonged in the without Word (because Word didn't spot it, only I did)... but then I forgot about it.

Line 241: fin1a:"... ББББББББББheh! [LOOK_UP][BLINK][ARMS_HIS_LEGS]I guess you're right. Well then... ББББББББББ[HOLD]where were we?... ББББББББББ[HOLD]ББББББББББ[FACE_FUCK_STYLE]Mmm, that's right"
Missing sentence ending.

 

[Maineim]

Re: AaRLs Dialogues: Aug 25, 2013 - NEW Dialogue - Widow

Cool! I have to try this new Widow dialog.